Compliments of the Season

Blessed Christmas everyone! The year 2009 is fast drawing to a close, imagine tomorrow is the last day of 2009. It has been an eventful year and a eventful pre-christmas, but through it all we drew strength from God and friends, who was always around rallying us. Our family had a very meaningful and peaceful Christmas. We sang our hearts out at midnight mass. I was very happy that I on Christmas my coughing was much better and I could sing/praise without coughing. We also had several days that we spent as a complete family, going to church, having fun and eating together!

I believe Iressa is working. A week after I started on it, I cough less and able to sing / talk without coughing. There is still the occasional cough but much less and not the sort that get's you winded. Praise the Lord.

Jo and I had gone to MacRitchie in the morning for a walk and practise our Qigong breathing this week. Hope to do it daily for the rest of the week. Feel good even after having to wake up a little earlier! (better start have to wake up early on Monday!!)

Wish every one a Happy New Year!!

Love
James Family

Praise the Lord, Mum is ok!

Thank you all for your prayers for my mum. Did the scope and Doctors say she has the condition called divesticulitics, which is condition affecting the intestines due to age. The intestines' lining is compromised and 'bumpy' and at times can cause bleeding. It is not life-threatening and no surgery advised at this stage. If she can manage the soft diet she had been given tonight and there is no bleeding, she is due for home tomorrow. What a relief and Thanks be to God!

Please do continue to pray for Pete, that the Oral Chemo will be effective for him.

what a day

Hi, been awhile since the last posting. Well I am clearing my annual leave, started on 14 Dec. Went for my blood test and CT Scan on Monday, Saw Dr Kong on Tuesday. The cancer markers are up, the scan show that the cancer tumours are active, comparision of the last scan 2 months ago, show that there are some growth. The radiologist thinks it due to inflamation, but since I don't have any fever or been ill the last week besides the cough, Dr Kong does not think it is inflamation. Started on the oral medication (Iressa) yesterday. Will take it for 30 days and go for a blood test and Xray on 13 Jan 2010. Since it is a targetted drug, it will either work well or not. Samples taken for lab test suggest that I am suitable for the drug. I pray that it will be able to work. This is the last silver bullet medication that does not have side effects that impact quality of life. I ask for your prayers, not only for myself but Jo too. This months has been tolling on her more than me.
Ask also that you keep Jo's mum in your prayers. She was admitted to TTSH this morning. We received a call at 4am, called and ambulance and rushed to Toa Payoh. Apparently she was bleeding when she went to the toilet, it could be due to piles, we don't know and will have to wait for the doctor to advise. At the moment she has been admitted. will update.

Qigong & Lifegiving

Jo and I started Qigong 3 weeks ago, to exercise and also to improve our breathing. When Fr Edward found out about my lung cancer in August, he was very concerned, showed us a few Qigong breathing exercise and asked me to try it. We tried it for awhile but was not consistent.
When Fr Edward restarted a small weekly class 3 weeks ago, he asked us to come see. We jumped on the chance and joined in the exercise. He demonstrates and explains in English which helps alot. I was very surprised that with the breathing and non-vigourous movement, I was sweating and feeling good after the 2 hours session. Time really flies and it is really hard to imagine 2 hours pass so quickly. I have been coughing the past few months, last week it was pretty bad, while we were doing some meditation, Fr Edward stood next to me and passed me some 'chi'. I felt much better and did not cough that night and the next day. Only last night's did he mention that after the session last week, he started coughing after the previous week session. Knowing that he would cough again, he again passed some 'chi' last night.
Jo and I were talking this morning over breakfast and wouldn't you call what Fr Edward did LIFE-GIVINIG? Just wanted to give thanks to Fr Edward for what he has done (teaching us Qigong and also helping us decide and giving us information to make our pilgrimage to Lourdes in September so meaningful.
Like I said many times in the past 9 months, God has sent many Angels and Saints to my life, and giving testimony of the Angel and Saints is my way to Thank God for his graces. It is all God's graces and your prayers that I am still working these 9 months everyday, mild/no side-effects from the chemo sessions, take weekly walks with Jo in the nature reserve, travel to Lourdes, eat well, sleep well and so many things we have taken for granted . Thank You!!!

26 Nov 2009 it has been 21 years (26th Nov 1988)

Today, 21 years ago at 2pm Jo and myself made the commitment in Church to each other and the community. I remember the day well, thanks to Mr and Mrs Goh for being our witness and Chuan Huat as my best man. Fr Frans was our celebrant, friend and a reflecttion of God and his Love. So many things has happened over the past years and I have realised that God has been besides us, guiding, providing and nudging us along the way. He has asked us to Trust in Him and depend on Him as He loves us. How true this is, over the years and the past 3 years this realization has become so real and true. I thank everyone that has come and shared our life, our joy, hurts and pains. We had the privilige to meet many Angels and Saints along our journey , it made us Thank God for you and the testimony of His love and your generous sharing of your love with us. Cannot list every angel and saint here, some are just stranges we have met for a moment but have given us hope, there are our fellow pilgrims (Peta/Aunty Ann, George/Teresa, Angie, Rufina/Michael, Joanna, Bernie, Vincent/Karen, Henry/Martha, Selina, .....) that has always been our pillars and support. Our living church, Mike/Gillian, Eileen/Norbet, Kelly/Jimmy, Irene/Andrew, Nicole/Kevin, Agnes/Adrian, Mark/Janice, Ann/Joachim, Dom/Prisca, Fr Terence, Fr Johnson, Fr Frans, Fr Edward, and so many more .
I Thank and pray that God will Bless you and your family with His Love.

May this Advent preparation lead us all to open our Hearts to receive the true gift this Christmas.

things is stable

went for my blood test yesterday, the result today showed the CEA marker is stable. reading was 26.6 vs. 25.0 3 weeks ago. it has hovered about 25 and 26plus over the last 9 weeks. I got my dose of Alimta today. Next review will be 15 Dec, will be going for a CT scan on the 14 Dec first. Scan will show the cancer cells and also check on the liver too. Has been coughing but not too bad. Thank you for your continued prayers. I believe that God will bless each of you. Start living today knowing that you are made for heaven, only your free will to sin can take heaven away from you.
Praise the Lord.

HI

Have not updated my blog for a while, Thanks to all who are praying with us. I like to share a reflection I read today.


What would you do if Jesus knocked on your door and said, “I must stay at your home today”? Would you be excited or embarrassed? Jesus often “dropped-in” at unexpected times and he often visited the “uninvited” — the poor, the lame, and even public sinners like Zacchaeus, the tax collector! Tax collectors were despised and treated as outcasts, no doubt because they over-charged people and accumulated great wealth at the expense of others.

Zacchaeus was a chief tax collector and was much hated by all the people. Why would Jesus single him out for the honor of staying at his home? Zacchaeus needed God’s merciful love and forgiveness. In his encounter with Jesus he found more than he imagined possible. He shows the depth of his repentance by deciding to give half of his goods to the poor and to use the other half for making restitution for fraud. Zacchaeus’ testimony included more than words. His change of heart resulted in a change of life, a change that the whole community could experience as genuine.

The Lord Jesus is always ready to make his home with each one of us. Do you make room for him in your heart and in every area of your life?

"Lord Jesus, come and stay with me. Fill my life with your peace, my home with your presence, and my heart with your praise. Help me to show kindness, mercy, and goodness to all, even to those who cause me ill-will or harm.”

update - review 29 Oct

The CEA marker was stable at 25, after discussion with Dr Kong, we will continue with the Alimta treatment, it give good quality of life, still has mileage and continue till the CT scan show tumor grow 25% larger, or CEA marker reach 40+ or I feel clinicaly worse. As everything goes, things are stable and I still feel good.

The next treatment will be Iressa, will go down to this option when Alimta does not work. This has skin irritation like pimple waist to head in most cases.

Thank You for your prayers. Next treatment is in 3 weeks.

26 Oct

Hi everyone, like to thank all for your prayers. Have been feeling better the last week. The cough is still around but it has been better, less of the cough till you're blue type. Have an Xray and Blood test on Wednesday, will see Dr Kong on Thursday afternoon (2pm). Pray for me that the current medication continues to work and the markers will show an improvement. Otherwise give me wisdom to accept the result and that the change in treatment will be the right one.

Like to share with you on what I read from the Jesuit reflection;
Serious Illness - Faith: In today’s Gospel, Jesus cured a woman who was seriously crippled for the past eighteen years. We should seek healing from Jesus more so when our illnesses are critical and when our sinful ways are habitual and deeply rooted. Trust in Our Lord’s power to heal and free us .

Thank You Jesus for being there with me and for sending me signs/messages of your love.

21 Oct - Blessings

Source : Shalom Oct issue
Jesus praises those who live responsibly and they will be trusted with a great deal more. We will receive abundant blessings from God, if we put Him at the centre of our lives. Trust in Him and have courage; do not fear the pain and the price of living for Him and serving Him. God will judge each one of us personally according to our circumstances and according to the graces we have received. Each of us has a mission to fulfill in this life. We have to be faithful to this vocation to the end of our lives. We will be judged according to the fruits, which our efforts have done. God has given each of us many gifts and abundant blessings; they are not meant solely for our benefits, but also for others . Thus, we should use them to help bring love, peace and justice to the lives of others .

Jesus concludes His teaching with this consideration: “Everyone to whom much is given, of him will much be required; and of him to whom men commit much they will demand the more.”

How much has the Lord entrusted to us? How many graces has He conferred on others as a result of our lives? How many people are depending on my correspondence with grace?

10 Oct

Reflecting this week what has happened, drawn from the events that has happened. Let me give you a rundown. last Sunday was the monthly pilgrim follow-up. It was the 21st session, Fr T. closed the session by reminding us to go back to the pilgrimage book, read through it again a check if we had done what we wrote, inspired by God's grace then. Going back and reclaiming the grace that God had given and acting on the plans we have made. During the CER retreat and silent retreat and the recent Lourdes pilgrimage, came away with several things that was inspired to do and live my life, it was consistent with the pilgrimage, however I had been inconsistent in acting, working it in my life. Done some religiously, some quite consistent but not all the time and some others have slipped. Then the CT scan results yesterday showed that recently the cancer cells have started to grow again. Last night we had rosary in our home and a neighbour brought a DVD titled "The Polished Arrow" narrated by Jeff Cavin. He talked about making ourselves, transformed and by God's grace/miracle into a polish arrow in the quiver that God can use us to do his work. When the arrow is drawn, it is going to hit the mark and not return empty handed. Many of us think we are ready, I did too till last night, but are we singluarly focussed with a totally straight shaft( our life) with all the imperfections removed/cut, sanded, polished and in clear alignment with the head of the arrow (Jesus).

Key message is that praying and wanting to do God's work is not enough, I need to roll up my sleeve and start taking active part in removing the distractions,the other priority, the sins, the envy, the worldly goals to have what others have, to achieve the status etc that is making me go in many directions and not the one singular direction of moving / heading closer to God. I realised that I need to start pruning and be persistent even when it is difficult and or succumb to seemingly acceptable imperfections.

I believe that the wake-up call yesterday was to starting on a new stage, doing/acting on God's direction. The last 9 months was a time of grace that He had shown His power that he can heal, the cells reduced and everything was on status quo. It was comforting since things were improving and stable. Easy to say God is here acting in my life when thing are going well Now I have to place my Trust in God and His Providence, and know he is still there when the canacer cells are growing. like the incident when the apostles in the boat during the storm and Jesus was sleeping, they tried all their human knowhow and called on Jesus to wake up and take action. They did not have enough Faith. To them though prsent, Jesus was sleeping and not taking action to do what we ask to fix the storm. Time to roll-up my sleeve and take active role to work on cleaning-up and heading to God.

I thank the people who follow this blog and pray for me. You are all my angels and living saints, I ask that you continue to pray for me and my family as we start on this new chapter and I know that God will always be there with us. Just have to be strong in Faith and trust God is there next to me.

9 Oct

Got the result of the scans today. News is not good, The MRI show no change, the tumor in the head is stable and unchanged. However the CT scan show that there is some growth in the lungs. The main tumor mass has grown a little, since the last scan in August. Question now is do we stay with Alimta or change to oral medication. Decided to do one more round of Alimta today and go back to the multi-vitamins. I had stopped the multivitamins for 2 weeks. Well the Lord has his ways. Was trying to make a decision on the options given Alimta+Avastin or oral, however we all agreed (Jo, Rose and myself) that do one round of Alimta and check the result in 3 weeks. if the CEA marker goes up, them we have to change medication but if it does not then we are ok. At least it gives us 3 weeks to pray for direction and not make it now on our own. Anyway, i believe that the decision made today was guided by the Holy Spirit.

Pray for us that we will make the right choice and also that the results in 3 weeks can be a 'miracle'. This is a time of testing and we have often said to Trust in God and we now must put it into action. will update again. Thanks.

8 Oct

Had my review with Dr Kong, the blood test result wasn't too good. The cancer markers had a jump upwards. The CEA was 26.1, it had been hovering in the 16 to 18 ranges for the last few cycles. the CA12 and CA15.3 also went up. All other blood test were ok, the white blood cell was slightly low. He ordered a CT scan of the lungs and liver, with a MRI for the head this afternoon. Will review the results on Friday afternoon at 1.30pm with him. No chemo today. It was a long afternoon waiting for the test to be done. It was all done at 4.30pm. Jo was there the whole tim, she must have been tired. I love her for being her.

The cough was intermittent today but still coughing but not the sort that leave you breathless. Thank God.

Did anyone of you red the daily meditation 'the Word among us' for today? let me give you a flavour of it, What is faith if it isn't teamed with trust and persistence?.....When God does not give us our request right away, ...... He knows that persistance we truly appeciate what we receive but in building us up in holiness and faith......
Father as I persist in prayer and obedience, pour out your Spirit on me to form me after the image of your Son, Jesus.

Will update the review tomorrow, in the meantime, put Jo and myself in your prayers tonight. Thank You.

7 Oct

Hello everyone. i went for my routine blood test this morning, will see the result tomorrow when I see Dr. Kong at 11am. I pray that the test result is stable and even improved. The blood test is only indicative and not absolute, only a CT scan can tell. Prayers always help, and it will give me the peace of mind. Thank You.

Will be hosting the October neighbourhood rosary in my home today and tomorrow, likely Friday too if there are no volunteers. Welcome to come join us to pray the Rosary, starts at 8.30pm (Block 319,#05-14). today is the feast of Our Lady of the Rosary(Lk 1:26b-32,34-35,38)Today’s Gospel, Mary says, “Let God’s Will happen to me!” The Rosary meditations are on the mysteries of Christ’s life, death and resurrection. Let us ponder on them daily and allow God’s Truth and Will to penetrate into our hearts. How is God challenging you today?

Shalom

Thank You

The cough is better, it has not gone away. I can breathe much better, easier now. However you may think that I am in a coughing frenzy in the morning when I get up. I believe that my mood is now less irritable.

Had a very nice dinner and spent a good evening with a very old friend, Tai Tee and Angie, on Sunday. Thank You for making the time with your busy schedule and family time. My next wish is for you to join us at the family camp in Nov. In fact I wish more families, will include in their year end holiday plans, to include time to play together, also share/learn about your faith and also to share them with your family instead of only shopping/sightseeing/swimming/eating. Do all these things and squeeze in some time to add God into the whole holiday. For those families that go to Holy Spirit Church, please think about signing up for the family camp on Nov 13, 14,15. (discover what Matthew 6:21 means)

Attended the exam mass with Nicole yesterday afternoon. Fr. Andrew led and asked that fathers to lay hands to pray over their children . He asked the fathers present to take the lead, as this is their role to lead the family not only in worldly matters but also spiritual. I was rather moved when I prayed over Nicole and sure that many fathers must have felt the same.

Read this and like to share it. like you to think about it....
Who do you really say Jesus is?
We evangelize every day. Deliberately or not, consciously or not, we are evangelizers. The question is, what are we evangelizing about? What kind of Jesus are we teaching to others? One of the most frequent ways that we evangelize about the truth is by genuinely living true faith – especially during hardships, in sight of those who are inexperienced at relying upon God. If we deal with problems without attitudes and decisions that imitate Jesus, our behavior teaches others that God is not reliable, his teachings don't matter, and he doesn't actually care.

It's not our words that evangelize; it's what our lives say. It's the message implied in our responses to everything that happens to us during the day. All too often, our words say one thing and our behavior another. People don't believe our words if our lives don't prove their validity.

The unworded interrogation is: "Who do you say Jesus is? Who is he for you? How real is he for you? Is he everything that you tell me he is? Why should I trust God if you tell me you pray and yet you worry so much?

Coughing

Hi, not been in good mood lately due to this nagging cough, maybe it is due to the haze. Been coughing more and for no apparent reason. The Romesec and Flumicil medication helps for a while but every once in a while I will cough and a bunch of phlegm/saliva will come out. It was worse these 2 mornings when I got out of bed and washing up. Did see Euan last Saturday and he didn't see anything wrong, asked that I continue with the medication.

Please pray for me that this cough will stop, it is uncomfortable and tiring, also makes me irritable. Thank You.

Lourdes

These are a few shots from our pilgrimage to Lourdes. We brought the letters of petition and placed all of them into the petition box at the Grotto. Also lighted 2 candles, for everyone who has een praying for us and those who have asked us to pray for them. It was a very peaceful place and we felt the peace. Have carried it home with us in our hearts and can still feel it today.

Lourdes - 10 Sep 2009

Thanks to everyone for your prayers. Thanks Eileen, Ramona for taking care of our Nicole.

Today was our last day at Lourdes, day started with mass and to our surprise we had a baby baptism! it was delayed twice and we felt it was for us that the couple was able to make the baptism today.

Mass was very meaningful as the baptism was incorprated into mass, it was also our baptism renewal again. A start of a new life, ours and also the baby (Teresa Marie). We also renewed our baptismal promise and the whole mass was a very appropriate close to our pilgrimage to Lourde. Refreshed with the water, recharges and increased in faith by the prayers and the whole pilgrimage (stations of the cross, prayers at the grotto, procession of the sick and eucharist, rosary procession and the Bath), the number of people of the same faith with somany languages really made this a universal faith community. Jo and I found much peace here. We believe that much healing and miracles will take place in our life. Today's mass was a confirmation of it. The priest during the petitions prayed that today will be a new day and the start of a NEW LIFE. we all prayed Lord hear our prayers. And He will. Praise the Lord.

Will tell you morewhen we are home in 16 hours from now. (signing out from MacDonalds in Paris CDG airport, too much roti already this week)

We will remember ALL of you in Lourdes

Dear Prayer Warriors

We are off to Lourdes.... We will arrive in Lourdes 5th and leave on 10th Sept. We arrive home 11 Sept.

We thank you for all your prayers for Pete and the family. Please pray with us while we are in Lourdes for Pete's complete healing. We are carrying with us the many petitions which you have written to Our Lady... whether you have written or not, rest assured that we will remember ALL of you, your needs and intentions, in our prayers. We will light a big candle for your intentions and we ask that you do the same on your Altar.

27 August - Alimta cycle 6 today

Hi everyone, it ha been wet and raining heavily the past few days. When I complained while sending Nicole to school this morning at 6:45am, Jo said Thank the Lord, else we will be suffering with the haze. This was how the day started.

Got to Dr Kong's clinic this morning and everyone there was cheerful, met a few people. There were 2 that were new. When I was taking my weight (86.4kg I have put on so... much) and my blood pressure, overheard Jo asking the nurse how the blood test result were. I had hoped that it would be a dramatic change, as I had asked for this morning but it was not.

All the other blood test reading, red blood cells, haemoglobin, white blood count, platelets, etc are all doing vey well. They are in the good normal range. However the cancer markers have increased at a very slight rate from the last reading. The CEA has moved to 18.4 from 16.8 and the CA125 to 64.3 from 50.1(the prior 2 readings were in 32.7 which was in the normal range).
Reviewed with Dr Kong the result and the x-ray still show that the cancer is STABLE. From the xray, though it is hard to tell, my sister Rose (now can read xray like the doctor), did find 2 small cluster that appear to be smaller. Dr Kong wanted me to stay with Alimta and will continue to monitor before using the oral medication unless I start feeling worse, CEA marker reach 30 or CT scan show it is not controlled. Reason is that Alimta is a slow acting drug, (like a marathon runner vs sprinter), try to give it mileage and act. When we move from Alimta to Oral, we cannot move back to Alimta. Cancer cells build a resistance to the medication over time, the oral medication is the trump card we are holding now. Need to use it wisely.
The oral medication works in 60% of the cases; in these cases there are some that are sustaining, others are slow improvements and in some tremedous reaction that the cancer cells are killed very quickly.
I will continue to pray and put my faith in God, my Father. I ask that you help me do this.
I have to be very grateful to God for what he has done and how he has covered me during my chemotherapy treatment. The few people we met this morning started chemo about the same time as me, all have improved and down to a less frequent chemo treatment. They however have developed numbness in the finger and toes, which is quite common. One of the lady was 'puffy', she may have deep vein thrombosis, had to go for a scan to see if there was a clot. For them I pray they get better and I am thankful to my Father he has spared me these 'scary' side effects. I am not sure how I would be if these had affected me. I still have a half inch area on the right half of my lower lip down to my chin, that the nerves are still not recovered from the wisdom tooth removal. It still has that numb feels when the dentist gives you an injection before he extracts or does major drill to fix a cavity. It will go away over time, the nerves are not damaged, can still feel a sharp/numb object, one or 2 objects in the area.
This reminds me; Had a lecture from the oncologist today, ALWAYS CALL him before you do any surgery even minor or major dental treatment. I was God protected. Due to the Chemo medication you are on, there may be very adverse side effects, also the platelets may be low and blood may not clot, Dental treatment carry high risk of bacteria infection. So from now on, I will have to insist the doctors call my Oncologist and he agrees before doing ANY surgery.
I thought the other doctors will know what to do, but I am special and need to be treated in a special way.
In all, the blog is long. I did not plan on this. expected to be a few lines only. I ws disappointed that there was no miracle, but all the other events and people I met today did show me that God has been good to me and He has covered me with His precious Blood and Love.

26 August

Hi everyone, have been quiet for awhile. Have been tired and a little busy with preparation for PRE and Family Life meeting. Went for my 3 weekly blood test and X-ray this morning. I do hope that the results are positive. I have a 9:20am appointment with my oncologist tomorrow. I do pray that the results are positive and that the Alimta continues to be effective. Will update after my review tomorrow. Ask for your prayers.

Holy Spirit church will start it's Parish Renewal Experience(PRE) tomorrow till Sunday. Ask that you pray for the success. Also ask that you pray for Fr. Huan and the presenters, that we allow the Holy Spirit to guide us and not be overly concern about how our sharing will touch or move them. Let the Spirit guide and touch those who needs to hear the message. Please pray for Jo and myself, we will be presenting on Thursday night and Sunday afternoon.

Thank You.

19 August - Wisdom Tooth

Hello everyone, I am recoverying well. Started on solid food today, over the past 2 days I had porridge and ingredigents blended into a cream soup consistency and ate with a straw. I thought it was pretty novel, easy way to eat and don't have food over the wound. The swelling at the right jaw is still pretty obvious, hope it doesn't turn blue-black, else everyone will think Jo punched me !!

The silent retreat by Fr. Gino was very good, following in the footsteps of Jesus; Discipleship. I would recommend that you attend the Conversion Experience Retreat first and follow-up with this silent retreat. As for me it is time to get back to acting on the inputs. The mfocus has been the same and consistent since the Holy Land pilgrimage, the past 2 retreats has given me direction in the how-to, and very interestingly it is also consistent with Fr. Terence's follow-up session inputs! Praise the Lord!!

As Jo has mentioned in the last blog update, we will be making our own pilgrimage to Lourdes. Leaving on 4th Sept night and coming back on 11th Sept. evening. We will be spending all the time there in Lourdes, Sat 5th Sept Afternoon till Thu 10th Sept noon, 4 full days and 2 half days. We will definitely think of all my prayer warriors and light a big candle for you. If anyone has any special intention, write a letter and seal it in an evelope and pass it to either Jo or myself. I really like to thank everyone for their prayers for us.

I will be going for my Xray, blood test and chemo on Wed/Thurs next week, one week before I leave for Lourdes and I do desire that the test the week after I return will be one of Thanksgiving and Testimony. In any case, God has been Good and I will continue to praise and thank Him for his providence and goodness.

Pete had a good retreat

Hi Everyone

Some of you may be wondering why you did not hear from Pete after his Silent Retreat. Pete had a good retreat and came back refreshed. Well, God has a sense of humour too.. He decided to take Pete on another 5-day retreat.

Pete had his wisdom tooth surgery this afternoon! It was a really deep wisdom tooth which erupted during the retreat. After much tugging and pulling, the 'Wise" tooth came out. The bleeding took a while to stop and there is a big swelling on the right side of his jaw.

Please pray for his quick recovery as we are due for Lourdes 4-10 September.

We thank you for your prayers as we journey to ask for healing. If you do have special requests, please feel free to drop us a note in the box next to the blog. We will remember all of you in Lourdes.

Yes, the Test Results were wrong!

Dear Prayer Warriors

We did a retest for the blood tests and the Kidney and Liver functions which were initially high are now in acceptable range! Praise the Lord!!

However, we still ask that you storm Heaven for the Cancer Markers which seem to have gone up this time. Pls pray Pete as he makes his Silent Retreat with Fr Gino tomorrow through Sunday.

We are also planning a pilgrimage to Lourdes early September, we ask that you pray for our safety and for Pete's complete healing.

Blessings and Love to all.

Jo

6 August update

Hi, first hope that everyone is able to make time today for the Feast of the Transfiguration of the Lord. Let us not stay up in the mountain where we received our spiritual high but make the effort to come back down and share our lives and experience with others who may need our help. Also make time in our day to Listen to the voice of Jesus.

Then Peter said to Jesus in reply, “Rabbi, it is good that we are here!Let us make three tents: one for you, one for Moses, and one for Elijah.”He hardly knew what to say, they were so terrified.Then a cloud came, casting a shadow over them; from the cloud came a voice, “This is my beloved Son. Listen to him.”

Did a CT scan and blood test yesterday, reviewed the result with Dr Kong this morning. The CT scan do not show much difference, the cancer is stable and not spreading. There are some tumors that show 'hole' in the middle which is a good sign, the tumor is dying and collapsing. The blood test showed the cancer markers has increased, it also showed that my kidney function was not good and my Uric acid was high. However I think these are lab errors, I don't have any gout pains, I feel fine and in the past the kidney function data was wrong. I had another sample taken and submitted to the Novena medical center lab. Will wait to see if the results are correct or confirm my suspect the readings are in error.

I feel fine and I am not worse off now compared to the past, been able to do more than 7km walks now, which in the past has been less than 5km. I thank God for the graces he has poured on me and my family and no reason now to doubt that he wants me to get better from the cancer.

I still ask for your continued prayers for strength to continue to put mytrust in the Healer and also to do his work. Jo and I have 'volunteer' as animators with another 2 couples and 3 singles for the PRE at Holy Spirit at the end of August. We are greenie, never presented in the PRE before or attended PRE in the past! We are going into this with pure faith and trust that the Holy Spirit will inspire and guide us in preparations in our sharing. It is a leap of faith, only 2 weeks to get everything done! Had our first meeting last Sunday and working session last night. Everyone in the team is so charged, ready to walk in faith even when we are not sure what the path lies ahead. Pray for us.

Will give another update tomorrow when I see the blood test results.

I am Good today

Hello, everyone. It has been a busy and good week. Thank the Lord. I am feeling much much better and I have reduced the frequency of taking the medication for my coughing. I still cough a few times a day, but it is less frequent. Weekend is coming, let's keep fit and make time for reconciliation this weekend.

I will be going for my CT scan and blood test again on Wednesday morning next week. Ask that you keep me in your prayers.

Thanks everyone, I am getting better

Thanks to everyone for your prayers, I am feeling much better. Still have some phlegm to cough out, but definitely better. Managed to complete the MacRitchie tree-top walk this morning with Jo, Jean and Mervin (Jo's sister & husband). Was a good 7km walk. We had lunch at Dempsey Hill, had a surprise birthday for Nicole and Erica at Ben & Jerry.

We ask for your Prayers again

Dear Prayer Warriors

I would like to ask for your prayers for Pete to overcome a lung infection. He is currently on a 2nd course of antibiotics but still coughing quite badly.

Sharing - fearful and anxious?

We all know how easy it is to complain or grumble, maybe we feel God is holding somethng against us, or we try to blame someone else. We get fearful or anxious that God has abandoned us.
Where do these thoughs come from? From the DEVIL, the accuser, He likes nothing better than to sow division and suspicion. We need to let the memory of God's love and faithfulness push aside the fears and the temptations.
Take some time to let the Holy Spirit refresh your memory. As you continue to read from Exodus this week, reflect on our own lifes. See wether God has been at work, whether it is a physical, spiritual or reconciliation with a family member or unexpected way out of a troubling situation. Rekindled by God's love, you will be more eager to trust and follow him in future.
Recall yesterday's Gospel that Jesus invited his disciples, excited from their recent experience of their mission, to get away for a time to rest (Mark 6:31). Rest in God's love and peace. Refresh yourself and draw nearer to the Father through reconciliation if you have been away.

16 July Update

The review went well today with Dr Kong. The X-ray did not show any difference from 3 weeks ago. The CEA marker was 13.5, he had hoped that it would be 10 this week. Listened to the lungs which was clear, poked about my tummy and said that the liver was ok too.

He is so sharp and ask the right questions, which I did not even considered. He asked if there were any changes over the last 3 weeks in the supplements I was taking, told him that I switched my daily Centrium multivitamins from the one purchased here (made in Canada) to the one made in US which Jo's friend had brought back for me, I also started taking Ocuvite for my eye over the last 2 weeks. He advised me to stop all supplements and just take the daily folic acid for the next 3 weeks.

He wanted to see if the cancer markers will continue on the higher reduction rate or start slowing down. His concern is that cancer cell will over time start to build resistance over the drug/medication, He wanted to know if the cancer cells were starting to build resistance to the Alimta. He would like to continue with Alimta as long as possible before switching to the oral medication. Since Alimta would be a strong medication that can more effectively eradicate the cancer better than oral medication.

Well I am going to listen to the doctor's advise and continue to pray that God will heal me. I personally prefer to take a 10 minute Alimta dose once every 3 weeks than daily oral tablet. We will let the result at the end of 3 weeks (blood test and CT scan) tell us the next step.

(This part is hard for most of us) Dr Kong said that much of the recent studies show that the Vit C, Vit E, multivitamin, etc we take are not necessary as they don't really work, more placebo effects. The body will adjust and the food we take, a balanced diet/meal is sufficient. Guess this is a difficult new information for most of us to agree and accept.

Since he has been such a logical person and his assessments has been correct all these months, I am going to listen and wait for the results after these 3 weeks.
Please pray that I have the patience.

I ask that you pray for me that the cancer cells are not becoming resistant to the medication and that it will continue to work effectively. I trust that God will heal and that He has sent me the doctor and people that will help me on this journey. Thank You Lord.

Next Doctor appointment is on 6 August.

advance news

I could not wait and want to share the good news. Called Dr Kong's clinic and asked the nurse for my cancer marker readings from the blood test. It is still improving but at a slower rate (36% to 15%). I will see the full blood test result and x-ray report tomorrow when I go down to the clinic.

CEA has gone down from 15.8 to 13.5 (range 0-5) and CA125 from 33.2 to 32.7 (range 0-35).

I will post an update after my review tomorrow.

next review with the doctor 16 July

It has been 3 weeks since my last review and chemo, will be going down for my x-ray and blood test on Wednesday morning. Review with Dr. Kong will be on Thursday at 11.30am at his other new clinic at Novena Square.

I ask you for your prayers that God will continue to heal. We have the following petitions:-
- that the new drug, Alimta will continue to be effective is getting rid of the non-aggressive cancer cells.
- that the CA is contained in the lungs, does not spread, and God-willing, that the tumour will disappear.
- that lung function will improve.

Jo's sister and her family will be back tomorrow visiting, appreciate the effort she has gone through to come and visit.

Update on Denise

Thank you so much for prayers for Denise. We have just received an update from Alec, her husband. Denise has been doing well, able to walk, and eat and most of all, able to smile. She will be discharged today. Below is update from Alec.

....We will be meeting the doc on Thur to find out the stage of her cancer and what kind of follow on treatment is needed (radiation and/or chemo). But there is a chance the neither will be needed so I seek everyone’s help to prayer that the diagnosis of the cancer indicates a good removal of the affected area and that no further treatment is needed. If this happens, she will be able to recover faster (est 3mths).....

Alleluia.. Praise the Lord... the Lord has worked another miracle. My dear prayer warriors, PRAYERS DO WORK!!! Let us continue to storm heaven!

Must share this

As I was reading this reflection on Shalom, I felt i needed to share this with everyone. This reflection is from the Jesuilt website.

The First Reading from the book of Genesis speaks of one of the most emotionally charged moments in the whole of the Old Testament. The sons of Jacob are in Egypt trying to get food for their famine-stricken family. They are having audience with the Pharaoh’s chief minister, who, though they do not recognise him, is their brother, the brother they sold into slavery many years before. Joseph is telling them that they will not get any more food unless they bring their youngest brother with them the next time. He desperately wants to see Benjamin, with whom he alone shares the same mother, Rachel. Jacob, having lost his dearest son, does not want to lose another and is not ready to let Benjamin leave his sight. But then, Joseph, overcome with emotion, reveals himself to his astonished brothers. Far from blaming them for their terrible treatment of him, he sees in all that has happened God’s way of coming to their aid in their time of desperate need. We, too, need to see that God’s love may be speaking to us in even the most painful events in our lives. Joseph, of course, is also a prefiguring of his descendant, Jesus, through whose terrible suffering and death, we have been given eternal life

Jesus urges us to serve Him with great trust in Him. He assures us that we will always be guided, inspired, protected in His Providence. No one can destroy our plans to serve God and His people, if they are for His greater glory. Take one trusting step at a time.

Praise the Lord for His wonderous plans and providence.

Today's readings and I know it is for me

Gen 28:15 Know that I am with you;I will protect you wherever you go,and bring you back to this land.I will never leave you until I have done what I promised you."

Psalm91:14-15 Because he clings to me, I will deliver him;I will set him on high because he acknowledges my name.He shall call upon me, and I will answer him;I will be with him in distress. R. In you, my God, I place my trust.

Matt 9:22 She said to herself, "If only I can touch his cloak, I shall be cured."Jesus turned around and saw her, and said,"Courage, daughter! Your faith has saved you." And from that hour the woman was cured.

I am posting this on the blog as testimony of God's love and how he speaks to us, to encourage and strengthen. These verses stood out immediately from the whole passage as I read. I believe that they are also for Denise Lim as she goes for her operation this afternoon at 1.30pm to remove the colorectal cancer cells.
If possible let's storm heaven, Ask that you include her, husband Alec and 2 children in your prayers at 1.30pm today 6 July.

Faith, Trust and Peace

Jesus got into the boat followed by his disciples. Suddenly a storm broke over the lake, so violent that the boat was being swamped by the waves. But he was asleep. So they went to him and woke him saying, ‘Save us, Lord, we are lost!’ And he said to them, ‘Why are you so frightened, you who have so little faith?’ And then he stood up and rebuked the winds and the sea; and there was a great calm. They were astounded and said, ‘Whatever kind of man is this, that even the winds and the sea obey him?’ (Matthew 8:23-27)


Jesus is telling us not to lose our peace when are faced with challenging situations in life .
How strong is our faith and trust in Jesus? Although He did not promise that we will not face pain, sorrows or troubles in life, He assured us that He will be there for us always .

Have you experienced that Jesus is always dependable in times of your needs? If yes, do continue to deepen your trust in Him. If not, perhaps, you are trying too hard to take charge of your life and not allow God’s Spirit to protect and provide for you .

Happy Feast Day

Responsorial PsalmPs 34:2-3, 4-5, 6-7, 8-9
R.The angel of the Lord will rescue those who fear him.
I will bless the LORD at all times;his praise shall be ever in my mouth.Let my soul glory in the LORD;the lowly will hear me and be glad.
R. The angel of the Lord will rescue those who fear him.
Glorify the LORD with me,let us together extol his name.I sought the LORD, and he answered meand delivered me from all my fears.
R. The angel of the Lord will rescue those who fear him.
Look to him that you may be radiant with joy,and your faces may not blush with shame.When the poor one called out, the LORD heard,and from all his distress he saved him.
R. The angel of the Lord will rescue those who fear him.
The angel of the LORD encampsaround those who fear him, and delivers them.Taste and see how good the LORD is;blessed the man who takes refuge in him.
R. The angel of the Lord will rescue those who fear him.

And Let us model ourselves with St Paul;
I, Paul, am already being poured out like a libation,and the time of my departure is at hand.I have competed well; I have finished the race;I have kept the faith.

Prayers request for a friend

I ask that you include Denise Lim in your prayers. She is a dear friend and has been praying for my recover. I ask that you keep her in your prayers as she suspects that may also have cancer pending results this week of her CT and colonscopy. Pray also for her husband and 2 children.

Thank You

Job, an oriental chieftain, pious and upright, richly endowed in his own person and in domestic prosperity, suffers a sudden and complete reversal of fortune. He loses his property and his children; a loathsome disease afflicts his body; and sorrow oppresses his soul. Nevertheless, Job does not complain against God. In response to Job's plea that he be allowed to see God and hear from him the cause of his suffering, God answers, not by justifying his action before men, but by referring to his own omniscience and almighty power. Job is content with this. He recovers his attitude of humility and trust in God, which is deepened now and strengthened by his experience of suffering.

Psalms Chapter 91
You who dwell in the shelter of the Most High, who abide in the shadow of the Almighty,
Say to the LORD, "My refuge and fortress, my God in whom I trust."
God will rescue you from the fowler's snare, from the destroying plague,
Will shelter you with pinions, spread wings that you may take refuge; God's faithfulness is a protecting shield.
You shall not fear the terror of the night nor the arrow that flies by day,
Nor the pestilence that roams in darkness, nor the plague that ravages at noon.
Though a thousand fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, near you it shall not come.
You need simply watch; the punishment of the wicked you will see.
You have the LORD for your refuge; you have made the Most High your stronghold.
No evil shall befall you, no affliction come near your tent. For God commands the angels to guard you in all your ways.
With their hands they shall support you, lest you strike your foot against a stone.
You shall tread upon the asp and the viper, trample the lion and the dragon.
Whoever clings to me I will deliver; whoever knows my name I will set on high. All who call upon me I will answer; I will be with them in distress; I will deliver them and give them honor.
With length of days I will satisfy them and show them my saving power.

Again More Good News - 24 June 2009

Those who have not seen me in the past 4 months, Still happy and chubby.

It is 4 months since I started Chemo. Today the result continue to show improvement (X-Ray and cancer markers). The Oncologist is very excited with the result and believe that we should be in the good cancer marker reading range (CEA about 1 or 2) after another 2 rounds of Alimta. I received the third Alimta dose today.

Praise the Lord, He has confirmed the healing He promised with the improving result. Healing for some happens instantaneously, others get healed after some time delay while others healing is progressive over time. I believe that He will heal progressively and even the words of the oncologist confirms this. During the CER inner healing session I saw many tiny glows of red light twinkling in 2 sides (like the left and right lung). It continued to twinkle and slowly they faded, there was no red glow anymore. This was for me a sign that my lungs will eventually be cleared of all the cancer cells. The X-ray results and cancer marker reading is testimony of this improvement.

The Cancer Marker reading;

CEA dropped from 39.4 to 25.2 and today 15.8 after Alimta cycle 1 and 2, the acceptable range is between 0-5. target to a reading of 1.

The CA125 dropped from 137.4 to 66.5 and today 33.2 after the 2 cycles. It is now already within the acceptable range of 0-35.

The X-ray show the patchy concentration in the lower right lung has improved, showing that the lymph flow is better. The cancer cells are reducing, thus allowing the lymph flow to improve.

In all, things are looking very bright and positive. He listened to the lungs and said they were clear. I feel great and told Jo last weekend during our Venus Drive walk that I can take deeper breaths without coughing. Look forward to the next readings on the 16 July!

Rather long winded today, bear with me. Was at a talk by Fr. Frans last night, something he said hit home.

Luke 11: 24-26 ; "When an unclean spirit goes out of someone, it roams through arid regions searching for rest but, finding none, it says, 'I shall return to my home from which I came.' But upon returning, it finds it swept clean and put in order. Then it goes and brings back seven other spirits more wicked than itself who move in and dwell there, and the last condition of that person is worse than the first."

As we strive to give up our sins and change our ways, we can be like the person where the unclean spirit goes out of, he tries to continue on the path of holiness on his own, depending on himself instead of filling the void left by the unclean spirit with the Father's love. This opens the way for the unclean spirit to return and bring others spirits. But if the void is filled with the Father's love, He will provide the grace to continue in the path of holiness and working with the graces from God. The unclean spirit will not be able to come back.

Till the next update God Bless you and your family. Please continue to pray for me and my family. Also include a prayer for those sick and suffering that do not have anyone to pray for them. Please make time for the sacrament of reconciliation this weekend.

Wed 25 June - review with doctor

I will be going for X-Ray and Blood test this wednesday, I ask you for your prayers that God will continue to heal.

We have the following petitions:-
- that the new drug, Alimta will be very effective is getting rid of the non-aggressive cancer cells.
- that the CA is contained in the lungs, does not spread, and God-willing, that the tumour will disappear.
- that lung function will improve.

Thank You

Relationship

looking back over the past 18 weeks, when I read today's refection, it reminded of me and that the cancer has made me realise that what God has always asked me to Trust in Him and build relationship with Him and those around me, specially my family. Can't say that I am glad for the cancer but it has been about reassessing my life and made me realise what is important in life. I hope that others will realise this and work on their relationships. It is not the money or high grades in exams but how you build God's kingdom here around you.

Extract from the Jesuit and Shalom;
In today’s Gospel, Jesus felt compelled to stay behind to listen and teach the Teachers of the Temple. His parents could not comprehend that Jesus had to fulfil His Father’s Will.

We are each challenged to be receptive to the Father’s Will and Providence.

After several years in the pursuit of money, perhaps we are gradually coming to realise that happiness does not lie in material possessions or in all the things that money can buy. As Jesus says, life is more than lots of food and the body is more than wearing the latest fashions. It might not seem very practical for us to look at the birds of the air or the flowers of the field. But there is one lesson we can learn from them. They live in full harmony with their environment. They live with and in it and not off it.
Our problem is that we are too focused on our own individual needs. And we think that more is better.

What Jesus is urging is that we live the life of the Kingdom — a life of love and sharing. A life where everyone is concerned with the needs of everyone else. And when everyone gives, everyone gets.And we are not to be full of worry. Worry is about a future which does not exist. If we focus on today, tomorrow will be taken care of when it comes. So, instead of just looking at our own wants, let us rather look out at the needs of each other. When we all do that, all are taken care of.

Lord, we need You. It is You who said, ‘Man does not live on bread alone.’

Healing and more good news

Last week, I updated that there was good news, the cancer markers had gone down for the first time in 15 weeks!!! After the conversion retreat, I am now even more convinced and now with expectant faith know that God wants and will heal me. I knew after the healing session on Saturday evening I am getting better, I cough less, can start taking deeper breaths and feel more energetic. I decided to take a blood test and confirm the cancer markers are coming even further down. Yes Praise the Lord that within ONE week it has continued to come down.

The CEA marker reading dropped 36% last week (from the previous cycle reading) and in the last 7 days continued to drop another 11%; ( 39.4 to 25.2 to 22.4, normal is between 0 & 5) .
The CA125 marker dropped 52% last week and in one week dropped another 18%; (137.4 to 66.5 to 54.5, normal is between 0 & 35).

Praise the Lord and God is good !!!
Don't let Pride and Fear keep you from our Father, it is the evil one that is putting these in our hearts to make us feel unworthy. Our Father and Jesus loves each of us dearly and waits only for us to come back to him.

Eph 4: 26-27 Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun set on your anger, and do not leave room for the devil.

Blessed are the ....

How blessed are the poor in spirit: the kingdom of Heaven is theirs.
Blessed are the gentle: they shall have the earth as inheritance.
Blessed are those who mourn: they shall be comforted.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for uprightness: they shall have their fill.
Blessed are the merciful: they shall have mercy shown them.
Blessed are the pure in heart: they shall see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers: they shall be recognised as children of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted in the cause of uprightness: the kingdom of Heaven is theirs.’

Good News - 3 June 2009

Good News! the cancer Marker has dropped 50% , this is the first reduction in the cancer CEA and CA125 markers. over the past months, 5 sets of blood test showed it increasing after every chemo cycle. The Blood test taken yesterday (after the first cycle of the new drug Alimta) showed that it has dropped about 50% from the last reading (CEA: 39.4 to 25.2 and CA125 : 137.4 to 66.5). Everyone is excited about the result, even the doctor & nurses was happy to see it come down. Looks like the new chemo is working. Even though the Xray do not show any major changes from the last cycle. Still 25% reduction and stable is Good!

Pray that it continues to work. The doctor hopes to see it continue to come down at the next blood test in 4 weeks. I just got cycle 2 of Alimta this afternoon. I feel great and very happy.

I can only Thank God and everyone for their consistent prayers, their care & support. I realised this week that we need to remember and be appreciative of our Father for all he has given us.


Another good news is the 2 tumor in my brains have not grown or do not show any signs of activity. They are stable and more mature. Got the MRI done and both the radiologist and oncologist agree with the results. Everything is stable.

Been having a cough over the past few weeks, Jo and I were worried that it might be due to the increased lymphatic fluid buildup in the lungs due to the cancer cells. Dr Kong did not think it so. It could be due to an infection as suggested in the Xray, recommended I review with an ENT specialist and have it checked. Thank God for a saint, Dr Euan, he was available and saw me immediately today. He put a scope into my nose and down to my throat (first time I saw the inside of my nasal passage, my voice box and he concurred with Jo that I likely snore when I sleep). He does not see any problems and the coughing is triggered by the nasal backflow (caused by allergy like dust mite) and reflux acid at the back of the throat. Some medication should give relief. Will go for a scan next week of the nose, Jo is fixing the apppointment. What a friend and a great doctor, even prays for me . He thinks I still look good, with my thinning crown ! Ha Ha...

Still contemplating cutting it all off (be Kojak; trendy now) or let it grow, sport a ponytail like my daughter (much shorter and thinner one)

Thank You for all your prayers. Praise the Lord Amen!!!

Next Doctor review and chemo cycle 2

Hi, will be doing the full blood test and X-ray tomorrow (Tuesday2 June) morning. On Wednesday Dr Kong will review with me the results at 3pm and Alimta chemo cycle #2 if the blood test result is positive. Had to shift the review to 3pm instead of 11.30am, due to a morning meeting in the office.

Thank You for your prayers.

Next Chemo on June 3 at 11.30am

Dear Prayer Warriors



Thank you so much for persevering all this time.. it has been a 3 and a half months. Pete goes for his next chemo session on 3 June, wednesday at 11.30am



We have the following petitions:

- that the new drug, Alimta will be very effective is getting rid of the non-aggressive cancer cells.

- that the CA is contained in the lungs, does not spread, and God-willing, that the tumour will disappear.

- Pete has been getting more phglem than normal, that the Lord take away the cough and phglem,

- that Pete's lung function will improve.

Be Thankful - 26 May

Jo and I both had a BE THANKFUL call yesterday. We had set such high personal expectation that God will remove all cancer cell with the chemo sessions I had gone through. There was a tinge of 'disappointment' that after 4 cycles there was only 25% reduction.

We received an email from our love circle member about a Chris Long who gave testimony of his struggle with lung cancer. His miracle was that God had removed the pain and suffering he went through but his cancer cell remained the same, did not increase but did not reduce.

What a wake-up call for us; to be thankful for what we have received and Thank God for what He has given and the grace he has sent our way by the people and prayers.

For those who can make it please join us for the Pentecost Triduum at Holy Spirit Church on 27, 28 and 29 May at 7.30pm. The 3 celebrant and speakers for each night will be Fr Terence, Fr John Paul and Fr Bosco respectively. See You .

Ascension of the Lord

These signs will accompany those who believe:in my name they will drive out demons,they will speak new languages.They will pick up serpents with their hands,and if they drink any deadly thing, it will not harm them.They will lay hands on the sick, and they will recover." (Mark 16:17)

How much do we believe in the Holy Spirit in us?

from Sprint to Marathon - 15 May

Sprint to Marathon?
in the words of my doctor, we have moved from a sprint to a marathon now.

The chemotherapy of Cisplatin/Gemzar are given twice in 3 weeks, its effectiveness is targetted at aggressive concer cells that are moving and multiplying. After 2 cycles and the CT scan show about 10-20% reduction, another 2 cycles later an additional 5%, nett 25% of the original cell seen on 18 Feb has been reduced.
The conclusion, we have addressed the aggressive cell, similar to the infantry foot-soldiers moving about out in the field, we have done aerial bombarment and placed mines everywhere(chemo of Cisplatin/Gemzar) which will eliminate them.

The remaining cells are term less aggressive, similar to infantry soldiers in bunker, arial bombardment and mine fields will do less damage, since they are under cover. We now switch to a new medication of Alimta, this is designed to seek out the ones that are under cover, but it will also kill any aggressive cells too. The regime is one dose in 3 weeks, but since the cancer cells are less aggressive it does not spread quickly and are in hiding. It is now a marathon race, where fast sprint is not an option but a quick and steady pace to the end. I am hopeful that this marathon will bring recovery, and I have full confidence in my doctor (HL Kong).

Jo and I had hoped for a fast elimination of the cancer cells with chemo, was probably not inline with what God had planned. Time to move on and start on this marathon journey and continue to look for God's plan for us. Reconciliation was the message I was sharing when I started this journey, it was 'lost' over the past weeks, but it came back, jolted into my memory again during a homily this week and I need to start holding up this banner again.

Shalom and looking forward to Pentecost

Update 14 May

After 13 weeks, I had the second CT scan done yesterday, review with Dr. Kong was that the cancer tumors are STABLE. They have reduced from the first set of PET scan done on 18 Feb, best case 25% reducution. After 4 chemo cycle of aggressive cancer cell medication and Erbitux, we have concluded that we will not get more mileage from the Cisplatin+Gemzar and Erbitux. Option was to switch to less aggressive cancer medication by Oral or a second line chemo of Alimta. The oral medication will require daily tablet to be taken, with likely skin irritations. Alimta on the other hand is given as a 10 minute drip once in every 3 weeks (compared to the past 6 hours weekly), does not have the skin irritations like the oral nor hair loss(something I will touch on later). Yes, there is no 'limit' to the number of times you can get the Alimta dose, currently the moving record is 29 and counting with a current patient.

In the cancer world, Stable is a good thing. It tells you it is not getting worse!!
These words did not strike me till I had an SMS from my good old pal Tai Tee, who never fails to check with me after every session, he asked if stable is good? I replied yes stable is good. The cancer still limited to the lungs and did not spread to any other organs in the chest and abdomen, liver, stomach etc are clear.

We all agreed to start with Alimta, my first session was done this afternoon. It was a breeze, smaller needle and only 30 minutes in total (preparation and flushing of the tubes including waiting for the vein to clot where the IV was inserted). Will monitor for 2 cycles before we make any changes.

Glad that it is over with the weekly Erbitux doses, had a total of 6 weekly doses. The last 2 weeks, the Erbitus had acted up again. Instead of a fat red nose, the pimple outburst were in my head, it caused lots of irritation on the scalp and also fair amount of hair loss as the outbreaks were happening where the hair roots were. There are a few 'bare' spots, which I carefully brush the remaining hair over. Now I appreciate what the balding man that combs his hair from the back to the front feels. This is payback time for the times I commented on Bro. Philabert's crown and how he combed his hair when I was in Junior College. I look forward to my 'glorious' locks growing back.

The other good news is that I am included in the Conversion Experience Retreat for June 4 to 7. Had a call on Monday and a written confirmation today. Looking forward to the retreat at CSC. Mike Chua has been telling me how great an experience it was for him and promoted it everyone he knew. Must have been the grace of God that I managed to squeeze in this June session.

For everyone praying for me Thank You and God's Peace be with you. I can't wish you anything better. It was a bumpy ride the last 1 week, but I am glad that it is past and I start to feel more positive again.

Thank You Connie Shan and her family for the delicious beef rendang, shepherd pie and cheese pasta over the past 3 weeks.

I thank also my wife, Jo, for being there, trying her best to figure what to do with me and anticipating what I look forward to eating. I like her to look forward to better days....

Any red meat lovers out there; take it from me, after 13 weeks of two red meat meals a day, a steak is a steak, The meat will all taste the same however you season & cook it, whichever cut(sirloin, ribeye, tenderloin...) or type of cow (US black Angus, Australia Black Angus, Grass fed, Organic ...) you are eating.

Thank You and will post more updates...

God as our Center

I would have expected that these weeks I will have spent more quiet time, however with the new routine I have actually spent less. I used to send Nicole to school and spend some time in the adoration room at Risen Christ, but since I started my treatment, my good neighour has been sending my daughter to school in the morning. I wake up a little later, and eat breakfast and go off to work. The traffic is heavier and so I have excused myself for not taking the detour to church or spend some quiet time with my Father. I will change this, I want to and I miss the quiet time. John 14:2-3 In my Father's house, he has prepared a room for me and Jesus has said that He will come and take me with Him. How can I not spend time with my Father and say I am a son. How can I be ready if I do not focus on making God my center.

I attached a reflection from Shalom today ;
If our lives are compared to a wheel our activities would be at the periphery and our centres would be at the axle. They would be connected by spokes, our activities and prayer forms. But, if our axle was not still, centred, properly placed the wheel could not move properly. So too, if our lives do not have a mystical centre there will not be a healthy relationship with our active lives. There will be alienation.
In our prayers today let us: ‘Look back and thank God, Look forward and trust God, Look around and serve God, Look within and find God!’

Happy Mother's Day 10th May 2009.

7 May 2009

: I know the ones I have chosen

• We have Jesus’ assurance that if we “welcome Him into our lives” more fully, we will be His messengers of His Resurrection of True Hope to all peoples including ourselves, especially in difficult times .
  
• Is there a greater assurance and surer hope in life than to have the Risen Christ within us? Ponder on this truth and try to sense how God’s Spirit is challenging you in your present life.

Jeremiah expressed it well when he spoke God’s word to Israel, and so to each one of us: “I have loved you with an everlasting love, and so I am always constant in my affection for you” (Jeremiah 31:3). Fr. Terence brought up during the pilgrimage and several times in the community sharing and I will always treasure.

How are you today 6 May 09

Hello everyone, wish that everyone had a restful Labour Day last weekend. It was a slow weekend and thankfully so. Just wanted to let everyone know I am Ok and will be going for my Erbitux tomorrow. Can't wait for next week to review the results of the scan on how things have progressed over the last 12 weeks. Thank each of you for your support and prayers throughout this time. Over the last week, my digestion has slowed down, it takes longer to digest my meals and many days I get the 'indigestion' feeling in my tummy after meals. I pray this goes away.

Thank you Father for my son Gerard, he sent me this encouragement and a love you note on Monday night when I was feeling rather tired and 'indigested'.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SIAdgLR1ZGw&feature=related

Thank God for the wonderful downpour this morning. it freshen the day, though it must have made sending the kids to school a problem. I want to leave you with a reflection from yesterday " Lord, you know that there are still area where I struggle. So I ask you to give me the grace to press on in knowing you and surrendering myself to you. Lord, I believe, help my unbelief."

Update on Chemo on 30 April

Thank you for all your prayers.. blood tests before Chemo on 30 April were good. Pete went ahead with the session and it ended earlier, at about 2.50pm instead of the usual 5 hours. He is doing well and appetite is good. In fact, he was quite delighted that he had put on a little weight.

We are taking it slow and easy this long weekend and we hope you will take time to 'savour' the Love of Our Lord.

Please pray for Eileen's mother who had been admitted to hospital because of chest pains.

30 April 2009

When we truly believe in Jesus’ Good News of salvation, we will have the freedom and power to face life whatever the challenges. This is because our focus in life would be the promise of our eternal life with God!

Chemo with Erbitux again tomorrow.. Thursday 30 April

Dear Partners in Prayer

Pete has been doing well after the last session.

Please continue to pray for Pete as he goes for another session tomorrow morning. Please pray that the blood counts are good and he can proceed with the session.

Specifically we ask that you pray
- that the therapy will shrink the cancer cells by at least 50%
- that the cancer is contained in the lungs.

Thank you so much for supporting us in prayer and helping us carry our cross.

No Prayer Session for Pete at CTK this week

Dear Friends

Please note that there will not be any prayer session for Pete this week because of the Exam Mass on Thursday and Labour Day Mass. At the Exam Mass, there will be a prayer petition for Pete.

Praise the Lord

2 things I need to be thankful

1. the pimples have subsided, I asked the nurse if there is something that I could use to help ease the outbreak. She went in and gave me the last sample pack from Erbitux. It contained Cepaphil face wash, moisturizer and desonide Desowen Cream. After 2 days of use, my nose has returned to it's normal size and no outbreaks. It is such a relief, after 3 weeks of tenderness !!! (what a baby complaining. well there are som who said that I look better now.)

2. the message today

Have no Fear - Faith: In today’s Gospel, Jesus, the Risen Lord appeared to His disciples who were living in fear and in the uncertainty of what had happened to Him after His death. If we dare to entrust our lives wholly to Jesus’ promise of everlasting life, we will have nothing to fear; only the true hope that Jesus will always be there for us.

As Christians, we are called to do God’s Will and spread Jesus’ message of eternal Salvation and God’s unconditional love for all peoples .
All we have to do is to respond as best and as generously as we can. God will grant us the gifts and abilities that are needed to accomplish the tasks we are to do for Him .
God will ‘work with us’ and will always look out for us. Hence, though the task of spreading God’s word may seem daunting, we should remember that God will never abandon us, and that everything will be done well .

Cycle 4

Had a review with Dr. Kong yesterday. We will continue with cycle 4 chemo with Erbitux. At the end a CT scan will be carried out and depending on the improvement or lack of, we will stay with present chemo if we see 30-40% reduction , else it is confirmed that they are slow growing, less aggressive cell and will switch treatment to ALIMTA, one 10 minute dose every 3 week to reduce the cell and then switch to an oral tablet Tarceva
(ALIMTA is a treatment for malignant pleural mesothelioma (MPM), which is a cancer that affects the inside lining of the chest cavity. ALIMTA is given with cisplatin, another anticancer medicine (chemotherapy) when surgery is not an option.)

Yesterday was a long day, Vincent gave me a lift to the doctor. got to the clinic and saw the doctor about 10am. The xray comparison showed some improvement on the edges of the lungs but no reduction in the main mass in the lower middle portion. The cancer markers were up again. I have been feeling well over the last 4 weeks and we decided to go with cycl 4. Started chemo about 10.45am finished about 4.30pm. was a long time sitting on a chair. but the chair is comfortable enough to doze and wake up. IPOD helps to listen to music to relax and a good book too. My sister Nancy came yesterday and she got me a Big Mac for lunch. It must have been a long day. She sat with me the last hour and we talked.

Had dinner out last night with Jo and Nicole, Gerard had guard duty and Brian late evening class. Had a surprise visitor last night, Fr Johnson. He attended the memorial mass for Fr Paul Staes eldest brother at Holy Spirit and stopped over for a visit.. We had a good talk and caught up with what's happening and also the progress of the new church in Pasir Ris. He sure has big things to worry about.

Jo and I were very glad that Fr. Johnson stopped by to visit. Thank You.

Thanks to all who are praying for us, we will forever be grateful.

Praise the Lord.

Thought for today 23 April

Dear Friend in the Lord,
Earthly and Heavenly Ways: In today’s Gospel, John explains the difference between “earthly and heavenly ways.” We should never be proud of our earthly possessions, power and popularity. We can only take pride in recognising how much God truly loves us and wants us to love others in return.
Fr Philip Heng,S.J.

Today is 2 months since I started the first chemo session. It has been 8 weeks and much has happened. I thank God for His graces and Love.

‘The Father loves the Son and has entrusted everything to his hands. Anyone who believes in the Son has eternal life

In His compassion for us, He will never abandon us. We are all called to believe in Him at all times .

When we experience the compassion of Jesus, we are also called to share this with others especially the needy and the poor. This will be our testimony of our acceptance of Jesus in our lives .

Wed 22 April

Been a busy week at work this week (actually it is only half the week that has passed)
Went for xray and blood test today, will see the doctor tomorrow to review the result and next course of action. I do hope and pray that the xray will show good improvement else i will haveto go do more test. However if the result is good, I will have to survive more weeks with pimples!!!

Jo has been a fighter and strong supporter. She been going and pushing. Glad that she is feeling positive now. I love her.

Vincent was so kind to call me and ask if I had 'retrenched' him from sending me to my appointment. He did not get any call from me so far this week. Actually I would not have the heart to 'retrench' him, I was actually feeling pretty bad about haveing to tax him and making Karen go to work early. Since the appointment this week was at 9.20am, I had planned to find my way there. However with Vincent's insistence and generosity, I relented and 'gave him back the job to send me to the doctor'. Thank You Vincent.

Had a few SMS from Ranga, Valerie, Vivienne and Edwin this week. it was good of them to keep in touch and check-up on me. I feel bad that I can't meet-up with them yet. Another old school/classmate, Joe Chin, came back from Canada, however due to schedules we have not been able to meet either but we did talk over the phone. Well I know now that even when we do not keep in touch all the time, friendship we have over the years survive the times. Thank you all for being friends and staying by to praying for me in your own ways.

Thank You for all the support and I strongly believe that I am able to manage these weeks without the side-effects of Chemotheraphy must be because of all the friends (most are already saints and some angels ) and family praying for me. Thank You again.

Prayers for Pete at Church of Christ the King Ang Mo Kio

The Altar Boys have resumed their prayers for Pete on Wednesdays at 8pm at Church of Christ the King. Venue: St Mary's Room on 3rd level. Please come and join us if you can.

Thank you for your prayers...Feast of Divine Mercy

Dear Friends
Thanks for all your prayers again. Pete went through another round of Erbitux, no problems.
Side effects of Erbitux is pimples. So my dear husband has been suffering from pimples on his nose and scalp and neck. Other than that, he is feeling ok though the pimples tend to get him down a little.

We had a good session at the screening of "Fireproof". Thank you to Father Andrew for making the session so special. Those of you who have not seen it, please get hold of the DVD if you get a chance to.

Next session of Chemo will be on thursday 23 April, with blood tests and X-rays on 22 April. Please continue to pray that the results will show a good significant improvement. Oncologist will also have to decide if we should carry on with present chemo drugs or to change.

I am still confident that the Lord will grant us a miracle and give Pete complete healing as He had promised. So, please dear friends pray with us, that on this Feast of the Divine Mercy, the Lord will release his Mercy and Healing power on Pete.

Session 7 of Chemo tomorrow

Dear Friends
Pete will be going for his end of cycle 3 chemo blood test and Erbitux session tomorrow morning at 8am and 10am respectively. Please continue to pray for him. Please pray that Erbitux will be effective and that the Lord's hand will lead the healing. We expect that the doctor will ask for a complete review of blood test including the cancer marker, X-ray and CT scan next week to measure the effect of cycle 3. We will trust and leave it in God's hand, if we continue with the current chemo treatment or change treatment.

I remember asking all to pray that there will be no complications for session 6 and thinking back.. everything went smoothly.. his haemoglobin, white and red blood cells and platelets were good. Thank you so much for your prayers and praise be to God!

I thank God for looking after Pete during these few months, without His Grace and strength, we would not be giving Praise and Glory to Him.

Will update tomorrow..God bless you all.

By the way, the Altar Servers at Church of Christ the King have resumed their Wednesday night prayers for Pete. You may want to join us at 8pm at St Mary's Room on the third level.

Reflection - 15 April 2009 unlock inner meaning

From Shalom Wed 15 April Reflection

When we ask for something the result is often quite unexpected. The crippled man was expecting alms, but Peter had neither silver nor gold for the crippled man. He had something far more valuable: healing in the name of the Lord Jesus. God gives us what we need, not necessarily what we want.

The two heartbroken disciples on the road to Emmaus were broken and depressed. They wanted answers. Jesus — His appearance masked — walked beside them playfully asking questions. They related their painful tale. They had high hopes for Jesus the wonderful prophet — all dashed when he was arrested and crucified. They had even heard of the empty tomb but at this point it meant nothing to them.

Jesus, exasperated by their inability to understand, patiently unlocks the inner meaning of the Scriptures to show them that it was absolutely necessary for the Messiah to suffer and die in order to enter into his glory. This was the stumbling block for early Christians — how could the Messiah suffer and die? It is also a problem for us sometimes — why do believers suffer and struggle? Luke makes it clear that the passion of Jesus was not just an accident but part of the divine plan. And so it is with us: Jesus walks unrecognized beside us to unlock not only the inner meaning of scripture but also the hidden levels of our own lives. Our own struggles are not meaningless, but prepare us to enter into God’s glory.

Lord, let my sufferings teach me compassion and humility.

FIREPROOF - 18 April 2pm @ Holy Spirit Church

Hi all, if you have not had the chance to watch this heartwarming movie, Fireproof (PG), Please make yourself free this Saturday 18 April afternoon. This is brought to you by the Holy Spirit Church Family Life Ministry in partnership with Worldwide Marriage Encounter.
Come down to Holy Spirit Church at Upper Thomson Road. Admission is FREE.
Screening of this movie will start at 2pm and should be done by 4.30pm. It will be screened at the ATTIC on level 3, take the lift next to the book store up.

FYI; Saturday sunset Eucharistic Celebrations starts at 5.30pm, if you like to attend.

Easter 2009

When the Sabbath was over, Mary of Magdala, Mary the mother of James, and Salome, bought spices with which to go and anoint him. And very early in the morning on the first day of the week they went to the tomb when the sun had risen. They had been saying to one another, ‘Who will roll away the stone for us from the entrance to the tomb?’

The Resurrection of Jesus three days after His death is central to our Christian faith. The Holy Spirit of Our Risen Lord will give us "eyes of faith" to know Him and be open to the power of His Resurrection .

However, to believe more deeply in the Resurrection of Jesus, the “stones” of our hearts must be “rolled away.” Once we allow the Holy Spirit to do this, we will encounter the Risen Lord with great joy, love and peace .