Reflecting this week what has happened, drawn from the events that has happened. Let me give you a rundown. last Sunday was the monthly pilgrim follow-up. It was the 21st session, Fr T. closed the session by reminding us to go back to the pilgrimage book, read through it again a check if we had done what we wrote, inspired by God's grace then. Going back and reclaiming the grace that God had given and acting on the plans we have made. During the CER retreat and silent retreat and the recent Lourdes pilgrimage, came away with several things that was inspired to do and live my life, it was consistent with the pilgrimage, however I had been inconsistent in acting, working it in my life. Done some religiously, some quite consistent but not all the time and some others have slipped. Then the CT scan results yesterday showed that recently the cancer cells have started to grow again. Last night we had rosary in our home and a neighbour brought a DVD titled "The Polished Arrow" narrated by Jeff Cavin. He talked about making ourselves, transformed and by God's grace/miracle into a polish arrow in the quiver that God can use us to do his work. When the arrow is drawn, it is going to hit the mark and not return empty handed. Many of us think we are ready, I did too till last night, but are we singluarly focussed with a totally straight shaft( our life) with all the imperfections removed/cut, sanded, polished and in clear alignment with the head of the arrow (Jesus).
Key message is that praying and wanting to do God's work is not enough, I need to roll up my sleeve and start taking active part in removing the distractions,the other priority, the sins, the envy, the worldly goals to have what others have, to achieve the status etc that is making me go in many directions and not the one singular direction of moving / heading closer to God. I realised that I need to start pruning and be persistent even when it is difficult and or succumb to seemingly acceptable imperfections.
I believe that the wake-up call yesterday was to starting on a new stage, doing/acting on God's direction. The last 9 months was a time of grace that He had shown His power that he can heal, the cells reduced and everything was on status quo. It was comforting since things were improving and stable. Easy to say God is here acting in my life when thing are going well Now I have to place my Trust in God and His Providence, and know he is still there when the canacer cells are growing. like the incident when the apostles in the boat during the storm and Jesus was sleeping, they tried all their human knowhow and called on Jesus to wake up and take action. They did not have enough Faith. To them though prsent, Jesus was sleeping and not taking action to do what we ask to fix the storm. Time to roll-up my sleeve and take active role to work on cleaning-up and heading to God.
I thank the people who follow this blog and pray for me. You are all my angels and living saints, I ask that you continue to pray for me and my family as we start on this new chapter and I know that God will always be there with us. Just have to be strong in Faith and trust God is there next to me.
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Amen to all the above, my brother! I like the part about rolling up your sleeves: time for action (test of faith, co-operating with His graces, conforming to His will - all action). Once u roll up your sleeves, and put your hand on the plow - push ahead and not look back, like how Jesus defined discipleship in Luke9:62.
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