Pete has gone to the Lord

Pete was called to Eternal Rest this morning. Please pray for his soul.

Doctor has called us

This morning the doctor checked Pete and asked that we be with Pete. His eyes are dilated, they have taken off the drip and now given a slow dispensing medication to control the phlegm. His heart however is pumping very well and pulse is very strong. Please pray for Pete to return peacefully to the Lord. Thank you for your prayers and love for Pete and us, his family. Thank you for journeying with us and for being our saints and angels in our time of testing.

No change in Pete's condition

Pete is still not able to swallow, the nurses have instructed us not to feed him lest he chokes. His fever is still there.
When there is no fever, he looks very comfortable and peaceful. He is not under any pain killers and not in pain. I thank God for taking the pain away.
I want to thank and praise Almighty God for the Gift of Pete to us. He had been a doting father, a loving and supportive husband, a loyal and caring friend, a true and faithful servant of the Lord. He gave his all and his best even when he was coughing and breathless, bravely taking on the role of prayer warrior to pray for others when he was home bound, the
list goes on. I am so proud of my husband!

Pete is still drowsy

In the last 2 days, Pete has been awake only for short periods, about 10-15 minutes and we try to feed him as much liquids as we can. However, his swallowing muscles seem to be getting weaker and he chokes often on the liquids even when we make it thick.

This morning, I was not too successful in feeding him and I pray that he will be more awake later on.

We have been so busy with Pete that we have almost forgotten that
we will be celebrating the Gift of Christ to us at Christmas.

We wish everyone the Peace and Joy of the Child Jesus. May we always treasure this Gift and be Jesus to the people God had put in our paths.

Pete started to drink and swallow again!

Dear Prayer Warriors
Thank you for storming heaven with your prayers. God had heard our prayers and Pete started to drink and was able to swallow honey water and Milo. Praise the Lord! He started last night and this morning I was able to give him about 30 ml of beverage. We continued this eith honey throughout the day. We don't want to overload him and are cautious not to choke him. He is able to open wide both eyes and friends from CPS came to pray over him.
Special thanks to Br Jude for coming to pray with us too. Alicia & Kar Seng, thank you for journeying with me. Ann & Andrew for coming by and for asking the Carmelite Sisters to pray for Pete.

We are very encouraged by your support and love for Pete and the Family. Your prayers give us strength and peace. Thank you Holy Spirit Cancer Support group; especially Vivien & Ronnie, Joseph & Ivy, Adrian & Kelly and Sr Angeline.

God bless all of you. Please continue to pray for us.

Pete is getting weaker

Dear Prayer Warriors
please pray for Pete, this morning, we were not able to wake him up for breakfast. He is very weak. Still waiting for him to wake up for food.
Last night he was able to eat well and nodded when Nicole, our daughter showed him the present she had bought for him. She also had a musical Christmas card for him, he must have been pleased.

Pete is stable

Dear friends
Pete developed a fever and has been put on antibiotics.

He has been eating less, swallowing muscles not too good now. His diet is pureed food, water has to be thickened so he does not choke.
He doesn't have much energy and finds it hard to stay awake.

Today, he kept awake for his friends and boss from Dell but soon grew tired.

Nurses and Doctors here keep him comfortable and I am grateful to them.
We continue to trust in God knowing that He will take care of Pete and the family. We thank you for your prayers, love and support. We want to record our thanks to Alicia and Kar Seng who constantly provide me with medical advice and support.

We thank the visitors who came tonight, sorry we missed you,Randal and Kelly,Pat and Rebecca. We had come home early since Pete sleeps a lot earlier these days.

Thank you Saints n Angels

Dear Saints n Angels
we thank you for your continued prayers, love and encouragement for us.
Pete was really encouraged over the weekend, he was awake longer and attempted to eat a little more. He was, of course, pampered by the variety; from chicken pie to sesame and almond paste to muffins and shephard's pie. To those who brought all those goodies, thank you. Pete sampled a bite of it!
Thank you to our dearest families in the FLM for the poster, Pete spent a good deal of time reading all the messages. To the Pilgrims, CTK Charismatic group, Raymond and Juliana, the many friends who came to give support, thank you.
Today, Pete developed a fever, doctor may start antibiotics tomorrow.

The in-house physiotherapist came by today and encouraged Pete to sit up. Pete managed to do so for a few minutes without support. Tomorrow, we will look forward to more exercise at the gym. We pray that Pete will benefit from the exercise and thus improve his morale.

Special thanks to FLM families who have scheduled a food catering service for our family. We are truly grateful n touched.

Pete is quiet today

Dear Friends
thank you for your prayers for Pete and the family.

Pete is alert today but did not say much. He is well aware of everything but I guess does not have the energy to talk.
He did not eat much today though. The Physiotherapist came today, Ms Law Bing Bing, a gift to us, she made Pete smile and I am sure he enjoyed the session.
Thanks (Dr) Mike Chua for coming as doctor and priest, your presence made Pete smile as well.
Thanks to Sr Angeline and Ramona who fed Pete today.

Please continue to pray for us, especially Gerard, Brian and Nicole

Pete is comfortable at Assisi Hospice

Dear Prayer Warriors
thank you for your prayers, Pete is in good hands and getting tender loving care from the nurses at Assisi Hospice. He has a single room and is very comfortable there. The sisters and nurses check on him often and he is fed.Thanks Sr Angeline and nurse Linda for feeding Pete his meals. He is eating well, a little more alert and responsive to us. Today, he is able to keep awake longer too. The doctors have put him on IV sodium drip since yesterday's sodium level had dropped to 126.

Please continue to support us in prayer. If you want to visit, we request that you be totally well because he is still very weak and cannot afford to catch any bug. Pete is still drowsy and may not be awake during your visit. We ask for your understanding.

As In today's gospel reading, we believe that " with God, nothing is impossible but may Your Will be done."

Please pray for Pete

The Hospice nurse and Social Worker came to access Pete, they feel his condition has worsened and it will be Increasingly challenging to care for him at home. He is unable to communicate his needs and his movements are not co-ordinated. He is also not lucid and very drowsy .
We have decided that Assisi Hospice will be able to care for him better than I can for the next few days. Hopefully, with physiotherapy and constant monitoring from the doctors and nurses, Pete will be able to get better rest and recover.

Please pray that we have made the right decision.

Please pray... We think Pete is slipping into a depression

Pete has refused to talk these 3 days, barely a few words, he uses his eyes And head to communicate. Has no more strength to move and can't balance himself either.

Asked him if he was worried about the shunt and the MRSA infection, he nodded. He thinks we would have to remove it and won't register the good news that I have been giving him about his blood tests and cancer markers. He ate well last night at Oasis, Taiwan porridge. However, he won't record and register anything I have said about getting well.
I am really lost, he is too heavy and I cannot lift him. Dr Kong wants me to take him in for a CT scan if he doesn't improve. Please pray for the Lord's healing on Pete on the areas he needs most. I am not sure if he really had no strength because he body has gone through a lot and needs time to recover or if he is really in depression.

Cancer markers are down to 7.4!

Despite the Pete's lethargy, the blood tests results are good. Sodium has climbed one point to 129, glucose, which was high is coming down, best of all cancer markers have fallen to 7.4 from 14! I am thrilled! Praise and thanks be to God for our miracle!
I had to tell Pete that over and over again the good news last night. Thankfully, he ate half a bowl
of porridge for lunch, courtesy of Vivien and Ronnie, who came to our rescue yesterday.
Dinner, he asked for fried rice. Since the nurse recommended a high salt diet, we bought salted fish fried rice! He ate half a bowl again with some beef and soup.
We suspect Pete is worried about the infection and is worried about it, he may even be slipping into a depression. Please pray that he will be ok.
Thank you once again to ALL for supporting us in so many ways. I want to record my gratitude to Joseph and Adrian from Church of Holy Spirit for braving the rain yesterday and going out of their way to deliver a bed to accomodate Pete's needs.

Appointment with Dr Ho was good

Dear Prayer Warriors
Thank you for supporting us yet again. The appointment with Dr Ho was good, He reviewed Pete and though Pete was tired, he was able to answer Dr Ho questions. Dr Ho does not think we need to worry about Pete's drowsiness. He does not Pete had any of the symptoms of a bad infection. Anyway, Pete already being covered by antibiotics. However, we did do a blood test to confirm if Pete's sodium level is low.

Results came back at 3pm, Dr Ho says Pete's sodium is 128, which is indeed low but not alarmingly low. Nonetheless, we started Pete on sodium chloride tablets.
We had a scare when we returned from the Dr and could not arouse him. He did not look and sound well this morning, he has not spoken, barely a few words even at Dr Ho. He seemed to have lost his energy and balance too. It had been difficult to move him from chair to bed. After the sodium tablets, he seemed slightly better though his energy has not returned. We are now giving him nutritional supplement drink.

Please pray that the sodium tablets will be able to turn him around otherwise we will
have to give him an IV drip at home. Please also pray for us, we have to remain strong for him.

Please continue to pray for Pete

I am happy to update that Pete has been well, no fever nor vomiting. He has been sleeping lots though.

This morning, he wanted to go out to Shunfu Mart so that he could have his coffee. He has not eaten much, small meals and then off to bed again.

We ask that you continue to pray for him to be covered by the Precious Blood of Our Lord Jesus Christ.

Thank you again to food angels, Vivien and Nancy!
Thank you my dear cousin Catherine for a listening ear and for the practical help of offering to spring clean my house!
Thanks Mike and Gillian for bringing Jesus to Pete in Holy Communion.

Please also remember me in your prayers, have been feeling pretty rotten. Gerard, our son is done with National Service tomorrow! Yeah!!! He has been very caring to me in my darkest moments.

Pete has been wel. ... Thank you for your prayers!

Pete had been well, in fact we went out for breakfast. He had his kopi o and yu char kuay!

Thank you all for storming heaven. Dr Ho wants to just cover him with antibiotics and monitor.

We want to thank Fr Andrew and the Family Life Members for their visit last night. We felt the church coming to us! Thank you for sharing in our joys and sorrows in this journey.

I was devastated by the news of the MRSA but felt strength to carry on in your support. Once again we want to thank the many angels who have supported us emotionally, spiritually and practically.
Thanks Vivien for being our food angel, Bert and Kath too for turning up with lunch.
God bless you all.
Please continue to pray against fever, vomitting and drowsiness for Pete.

May the Precious And Powerful Blood of Jesus cover Pete from
all infection and harm.
Amen

Please Storm heaven again!

This afternoon I received a call from Dr Lam who informed me that the sub-culture showed MRSA infection again in the brain fluid.

My dear Prayer Warriors, please, please support us again by storming heaven again. Pete has to be covered with antibiotics. Now he is well and we have to ask Jesus to cover Pete with His PRecious Blood and keep the infection away. Clinically, Pete has no fever and no vomitting. We will monitor.
Please pray against fever, vomitting and drowsiness.

Please also pray for me,for me to keep my faith and to be strong.

Pete can go home today

Pete will be discharged today, thanks for all your prayers
Dr Ho says all is good, we're tailing down dexa and the csf is better then before, continue to pray for us
We look forward to a meaningful advent

Adjusting to the tube in his stomach

Pete is well but he has not been able to eat properly because of the discomfort he feels when he eats. He still has to get used to the tube in his stomach when the food gets in. This evening he complained of pain in his lower ribcage because that is where they made an incision. He has to take small meals and soft diet for the time being. He feels quite frustrated about this and was fearful.
Please pray that he overcomes this pain and discomfort and start to eat and put on weight again.
We also pray that Pete is covered by the Precious Blood of our Lord Jesus in the next week. He is looking forward to Advent.
We pray that you will have a meaningful Advent.

Pete has been well

Pete looked well yesterday, we praise and thank God for the success of the op and for keeping him well. He was only allowed liquid diet yesterday but asked for Milo and dunk some biscuits in there to fill his stomach. He was alert too. Gerard stayed over last night.

May our mouths praise you, O Lord.
May our souls and our lives give you praise.
  It is by your gift that we have life:
  may the whole act of living be our gift to you.
[We make our prayer] through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son,
  who lives and reigns with you in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
  God for ever and ever.
Amen.

Pete is fine and resting in the ward

Dear Prayer Warriors
thank you for storming heaven, Pete is out of OT and resting in the ward. He looks fine,
good and is able to speak to me, he is alert too.

Dr Ho wants to observe him for at least 3 days, Pete just told me he is expecting to go back today!

Please continue to storm heaven for Pete recovery and healing.

Thank you.

Message from Dr Ho received at 10.44am

He is awake post-surgery. Will keep him in Recovery for some time before sending him back to ward. Surgery uneventful.

Pete has to get a VP shunt

Dear Prayer Warriors

Pete has been in pain and started to vomit yesterday. We brought him to see Dr Ho, the neurosurgeon who then ordered an MRI.

Good news is that the scan from 28Oct showed some improvement, in fact the two little lesions that had been there since Feb 2009 have shrunk slightly and the enhancement which Dr Kong thought was something to worry about, is no longer there. That is indeed a miracle! I have been waiting for our miracle for so long! Praise the Lord and thanks be to God. However, the scan does show an increase in the amount of fluid in the ventricles, thus suggesting that there is high pressure. Dr Ho suggested that we do a VP shunt to drain the fluid from the brain to the stomach. This option will manage some of his symptoms, especially his headaches, shoulder aches and most importantly, save his eye sight. His eye nerve is already swollen and we do not want it to get worse. Pete's mobility and co-ordination has also been affected and with the shunt, we hope these problems can be addressed.

I have copied an explanation on the VP shunt for your info:


Ventriculoperitoneal shunt is a surgery performed to relieve intracranial (inside the skull) pressure caused by hydrocephalus (water on the brain). The fluid is shunted from the ventricles of the brain into the abdominal cavity or in rare instances, in to the pleural space in the chest.

The operation is scheduled for Friday morning at 9am but Pete has to be admitted today at 3pm for pre-op procedures.

Pete is still feeling drowsy and a little confused, please pray that the op will give him a better quality of life.

We ask that you pray specially for the success of the operation, that Pete will be covered by the Blood of Jesus and be protected from ALL infection, complications and side effects. We thank you for storming heaven tomorrow and the 3 days following . Doc says we need to keep him at least for that time.

Pete still In pain

Thank you to all who have responded to tell me how to get the leaves. Last night I had to give him another dose of morphine to reduce the pain. At 5 am this morning, he complained of pain again. Please storm heaven to ask God to deliver him from the pain. Please also pray for us to make the right decision regarding the next step to take. The lumbar puncture does come with risks as explained by Dr Ho.
Thank you so much for supporting us in prayer and practical help. Pete and I are truly grateful to you our saints and angels for being our light during this dark journey.

Does anyone have Dragon tail leaves growing in their backyard?

Dear Saints and Angels
Pete got up this morning and was all ready to go for breakfast but while waiting for me suddenly felt unwell again. He was in pain again and I have had to give him his normal dosage of dexa plus morphine to keep the pain at bay.

He has been sleeping lots, please storm heaven again for his recovery.

My aunt who was diagnosed with cervical cancer has been drinking a drink prepared with 'dragon tail leaves' ( literal translation from dialect). When we saw the oncologist last week, the cancer was gone!

Does anyone have the dragon tail leaves growing in their graden? It is a creeper and is known for their anti- cancer properties. Please let me know if you can give me some. Hope the picture helps.
http://portal.ics.trieste.it/maps/MedicinalPlants_Plant.aspx?id=608

Pete is better. Thanks for prayers

After the scare on Wed, I have been careful not to restrict
the dexa( steroids). The doctors tell me I have to keep him comfortable. Since Wednesday, I have been giving him 4 mg of dexa with painkillers. Thankfully, need not have to give him morphine again.

Friday night we were able to tempt him with an outing to City Sqaure Mall for dinner at Pu Tien. He ate well and enjoyed the food although complain was not salty enough. Then we went shopping for more jeans and t- shirts. Nicole also had her shopping spree at OP. All in all we had a good relaxing time. Pete even thanked me for taking him out.

Saturday, we had Taiwan porridge at Oasis in Toa Payoh. Looks like that would be our common haunt now. We have been there Twice in the week! Then Pete was yearning for dessert; we went to a joint in Serangoon Gardens. Unfortunately, in trying to make his way into the shop, he lost his balance and fell, hurting his elbow.

Now, his elbow still hurts due to the impact of the fall but otherwise, Pete is alert and ok.

Sunday morning we went to St Stephen's for mass and then to Liang Court for lunch. In the afternoon, Pete wanted to get another pair of spectacles done but optician says we should wait for degrees to stablize. With new found energy, Pete wanted to stay at Thomson Plaza for Subway dinner. Can you imagine my dilemma since Nicole was also nursing a high fever last night.

I thank God He carried us all through last night; I was so stressed out last night, wasn't quite sure who I was to watch. I had made arrangements with my mum to look after Nicole but realized that Nic was too sick to go. Eventually, Gerard watched Pete while I looked after
Nic for the night. By God's grace, The rest was peaceful. Nic's fever is gone.
I thank you for your continued prayers for Pete and the family.

Pete not well again this morning

For the last 3 days, Pete has had to take painkillers to suppress the pain. Yesterday morning, pain was quite intense but it went away after we met Henry and Martha at the market! Pete said God sent angels again to take his pain away.

I gave him the dexa (steroids) early yesterday, after lunch, at the suggestion of the Hospice Home Care Doctor so that he can have a good sleep in the night. However, he did not sleep well, at 3am, he seemed confused and could not get out of bed. Managed only to get up at about 5am. Gave him his dexa 4 mg at 7am and still he complained about bad pain despite Arcoxia (painkillers). Eventually, had to start him on morphine. Brenda, our neighbour, very kindly rushed from work to administer the IV dexa. He says now the pain is gone. I am relieved but he still seems droswy.

Please pray for him. He had been so good, praying a lot more and talkig and eating more, even managed to receive visitors.

Pete has been well

Dear Saints and Angels
thank you for your continued prayers. The doctors visits went well. All want to wait and monitor Pete's condition before any action. He has been well, we have been keeping the steroids high to keep him comfortable. Except for occasional
pain, he has been well and eating well.
Please continue to pray for us.

God sent Angels again!

God sent angels in the form of Brenda, a doctor and Eileen our inhouse nurse.

When Pete was in pain on Sat 6, Nov, we consulted Dr Ho the neurosurgeon over the phone. He advised us to step up the steroids for Pete. Brenda, our neighbour, together with Eileen assisting, administered 4 mg of steroids to Pete and he was well after that. Sunday, we continued with another 2 doses and thank God for these angels, Pete has been feeling well.

In fact, he is feeling so well, he has been waking me up to take him out for breakfast. We have also enlisted the help of the Miracle Chapel in KL and Br Ivan has assigned 10 prayer warriors to pray for Pete as well.

No doubt the Lord has been healing Pete, he is more positive and has been eating a little more.

Today, God sent two more angels, Albert and Kathleen to help me pick up Gerard who had gone to Khoo Tech Phuat hospital for extraction of 4 wisdom teeth and one molar.

The Lord is faithful, in Him is our hope and Trust!
Thank you all for your prayers! We see Doctors on 11 November.

Please pray for Pete again

Pete has been doing well but these few days, he has had to take pain killers to manage the pain which had not come for a week.
Today, he is not so well, had been complaining of pain in the centre of his forehead, neck and shoulders. He also vomitted twice so far. Please pray for him, for the Lord to relieve him
of his pain. Thank you

Pete has been well- Praise the Lord

Dear Prayer Warriors

Pete has been well, eating a little more. Tonight, we had Japanese food with Sukiyaki soup and Harmachi cheek. The soup was a change from the normal porridge and mee sua noodles which he has been having for a long while now.

We went to MacRitchie this morning for some sunshine, boy was it hot! But it was good to be out and Gerard, sure needed the exercise pushing Pete up the slope. Pete satisfied his yearning for some ice-cream. He had 'potong- red bean'!

Please continue to pray for us.. for Pete to regain his strength and for the Lord to give me His Strength!

We thank you for your prayers and we praise and thank the Lord for his Mercy and Blessings. In HIm we trust, Jesus We trust in You! Our lives is in Your hands.

Rejoice with us....

Dear Prayer Warriors

Today, I received good news and I want you to rejoice with me as the Saints rejoice in Praising God!

Today is All Saints' Day and it must be through their intercession and yours that the Lord has shown his Mercy.
On Saturday, Dr Lam called to say that the culture from the CSF which Dr Ho took out from the Lumbar puncture showed an increased level of white blood cells, thus indicating an infection. We had to rush down to collect 2 types of antibiotics, including Zyvox, which is $105 per tablet. Pete had to take the antibiotics to cover whatever infection there is pending results today. This really made us anxious and fearful all over again.

Today, Dr Lam called to say that the preliminary results show no bacteria growth and Pete does not have to carry on with the antibiotics.

Pete has indeed been well, in fact eating a little more. Dr Ho does not think he needs to do another lumbar puncture next week if Pete has no headache and vomitting.

Please pray that the Lord will keep him well. We praise and thank the Lord for His Mercy and Blessings. We thank all who have been following the blog closely and keeping us all in prayer. God bless you all.

Pray with us :Lord, In Your Will is our peace!

By his blood and through the Holy Spirit, Christ offered his own self to the Father to purify us from the works of death.
Let us worship him in all sincerity:
– Lord, in your will is our peace.
Your goodness has given us the beginning of a new day:
  give us also the beginning of a new life.
– Lord, in your will is our peace.
You created everything and by your providence you keep it in being:
  may we discern your handiwork in every created thing.
– Lord, in your will is our peace.
With your blood you sealed the new and everlasting covenant:
  may we keep our side of the bargain by following your precepts.
– Lord, in your will is our peace.

Pete is out from Lumbar puncture

Pete is out from the procedure. He says Dr Ho is good and he barely felt any pain. He even used the smallest needle to lessen the discomfort. Pete is resting now, managed to eat a slice of bread with Milo.

Dr Ho wants to monitor him for about 4 hours and if Pete does not experience any headache, he will be discharged.
Dr Ho says the fluid looks clear so he does not think there is any infection. However the pressure in the brain is high so there is a blockage which means the excess fluid needs to be drained. He is reluctant to do any implant now because he wants to wait to confirm that there isn't any infection at all.

Once again, we would have to make decisions soon. We ask that you pray for us and with us to ask the Lord God Almighty to show us clearly what to do. We pray for complete trust in the Lord. He alone knows what is best. He alone is Lord over us!
Results will probably be out Tuesday.

Please continue to pray for Pete.

Please pray that results will be good

Dear prayer warriors
Pete did a MRI yesterday and results show that there is more fluid in the brain ventricles than previous scans. This could be due to blockage because of cancer cells, infection or a side effect of radiotherapy. Pete will have to go through a procedure, the lumbar puncture today, a day surgery procedure to draw out fluid for testing.

Please storm heaven once again to ask the Lord for mercy. Please pray that all will
be well. What ever hapens the Lord God Almighty is in control, He is in charge and may His will be done. We ask for strength, trust and hope in the God who created us and loves us He gave us His Son.

May the Lord cover Pete with His precious blood!

The procedure is 8.30am

Pete is vomitting again

Yesterday, Pete went to the office about noon. Since he had a late breakfast, he did not have his lunch. After his meeting and lots of visitors, he was probably tired and hungry but did not get a chance to eat. He vomitted in the office and has been in much pain since. Last night he was also vomitting several times, no dinner. Please pray for him. We are waiting to see Dr Kong at novena this morning.

Pete has been well, Praise the Lord!

Apologies for not updating.

Pete has been well these few days. Slowly but surely, he is getting better, eating a little more and is more alert. It is by the Grace of God that Pete is gaining strength, it is the strength of God that has covered him.

Yesterday, he made it to work for a few hours!! He sat on a wheel chair and was welcomed by his colleagues and bosses. I thank and praise God for his bosses who have been supportive of him all this time.

His energy level is also high and we even made it to Thomson Plaza for lunch after that. However, he experienced some pain so we can home fast. In the night we were able to take a stroll in the park and did some light exercise for the legs.

Today, we stayed home so as not to tax his body further but Pete was able to work from home. He is intending to go into office as he has a couple of meetings to attend.

We thank you for your continued prayers! Praise be to God for answering our prayers.
The night before, the Lord reminded me of His Word and I was consoled and reassured in Psalm 91

You who dwell in the shelter of the Most High, who abide in the shadow of the Almighty,
2
Say to the LORD, "My refuge and fortress, my God in whom I trust."
3
God will rescue you from the fowler's snare, from the destroying plague,
4
Will shelter you with pinions, spread wings that you may take refuge; God's faithfulness is a protecting shield.
5
You shall not fear the terror of the night nor the arrow that flies by day,
6
Nor the pestilence that roams in darkness, nor the plague that ravages at noon.
7
Though a thousand fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, near you it shall not come.
8
You need simply watch; the punishment of the wicked you will see.
9
You have the LORD for your refuge; you have made the Most High your stronghold.
10
No evil shall befall you, no affliction come near your tent.
11
3 For God commands the angels to guard you in all your ways.
12
With their hands they shall support you, lest you strike your foot against a stone.
13
You shall tread upon the asp and the viper, trample the lion and the dragon.
14
Whoever clings to me I will deliver; whoever knows my name I will set on high.
15
All who call upon me I will answer; I will be with them in distress; I will deliver them and give them honor.
16
With length of days I will satisfy them and show them my saving power.

Pete is better

Dear Prayer Warriors
thanks for your prayers again!
After the vomitting in the morning yesterday, no more pain and vomitting.
Pete slept much and had chicken essence for lunch. For dinner, he had macaroni with chicken soup. He managed to finish three quarters i
of a bowl, quite good considering he has not been eating well. Over dinner, we had the company of Eileen, Mike and Gillian.

Last night, we also had a visit from Fr T, Henry & Martha and Angie. It was good just catching up. Pete had a restful night last night.

Pete is well today.

Pete cannot make it for work today

Does not look like Pete can go.to the office today. He threw up again last night because we were trying to bring down the steroids to 0.5 mg in the evening dose, also had to take pain killers. This morning he was in pain and vomitted again. He is sleeping now, not much energy. Please pray for him.

Visits to the doctors went well

Thank you all for your continued prayers for Pete recovery. The visits to all doctors went well. Dr Lee is happy that Pete is doing well, even made a comment that his left eye is improving. Dr Lee is a Christian and we always come away with a warm feeling that the Lord is in control. Next we saw Dr Lam who informed us that the blood tests results are good and Pete should be well. She thinks the wound may be slow in healing because of the radiotherapy. Dr Kong says all is stable and Pete will continue on the Iressa.

We praise and thank God the Almighty for His Mercy and Healing. We thank Him for the people whom He has sent to offer help, encouragement and support. Today, we met Jestine, the cashier at the Radio Oncology clinic who noticed that she could help us reduce our bill by claiming from Medisave and Medishield if the Radiotherapy was taken as outpatient and not part of the hospitalization bill. It is more work for her yet she offered to help me. God bless her!

Yesterday, we had our October Rosary in our home. We had a full house as the neighbours surprised us with their presence. We are deeply touched by all we came and prayed with us.
Today, another angel Angeline went out of her way for me so that Pete can have his Immunocal tomorrow. Other angels are Pete's personal nurse Eileen, has been coming everyday to clean his wound and Mike, our dear brother in law, who has been bringing Holy Communion for Pete.

Please continue to pray for Pete as he makes his visit to the office tomorrow. May the Lord grant him strength. I will be with him. Please also pray for Pete's appetite to improve so that he can make a speedy recovery.

R. (see 3) You will draw water joyfully from the springs of salvation.
God indeed is my savior;
I am confident and unafraid.
My strength and my courage is the LORD,
and he has been my savior.
With joy you will draw water
at the fountain of salvation.
R. You will draw water joyfully from the springs of salvation.
Give thanks to the LORD, acclaim his name;
among the nations make known his deeds,
proclaim how exalted is his name.
R. You will draw water joyfully from the springs of salvation.
Sing praise to the LORD for his glorious achievement;
let this be known throughout all the earth.
Shout with exultation, O city of Zion,
for great in your midst
is the Holy One of Israel!
R. You will draw water joyfully from the springs of salvation.

R. (see 3) You will draw water joyfully from the springs of salvation.
God indeed is my savior;
I am confident and unafraid.
My strength and my courage is the LORD,
and he has been my savior.
With joy you will draw water
at the fountain of salvation.
R. You will draw water joyfully from the springs of salvation.
Give thanks to the LORD, acclaim his name;
among the nations make known his deeds,
proclaim how exalted is his name.
R. You will draw water joyfully from the springs of salvation.
Sing praise to the LORD for his glorious achievement;
let this be known throughout all the earth.
Shout with exultation, O city of Zion,
for great in your midst
is the Holy One of Israel!
R. You will draw water joyfully from the springs of salvation.

Pete is doing much better

Alleluia, Today is the Day of the Lord.

Pete has been doing much better since the Antibiotics. Fever is gone and the pain too. We praise and thank God for his mercies and grace. The Almighty One is God indeed, He has blessed us with so many people, YOU, saints and angels to us and to Pete. We are indeed grateful to God for showing us HIs love through all of you.

Firstly, you are our prayer community and you have not given up, you have interceeded for Pete all these months and especially through this period of trial. I know many of you read the blog and in your different ways you have made an impact in our lives through your prayers for us. I cannot account for how I have managed these agonising days when he was in hospital and even when he was out, how Pete was in and out of hospital, how I am still 'alive and going'. The only answer is YOUR PRAYERS for us. Yes, truly, I have said it before and I am saying it again, I have felt the effect of your prayers working in me, without them, I would not be able to care for Pete. I also thank God for our son, Brian, who has been so helpful in all areas. He has been night nurse, handy man, cook,standy for me,always at the call of his father. In fact Pete remarked 2 nights ago that his night male nurse is better than me, he takes temperature and BP for him and I just sleep and only help with with drink and toilet. Please remember Brian in your prayers too.
I want to thank all who have given us words of encouragement and nourished us with the Word of God, I may not have responded individually but yes, I have been encouraged and absorbed. I want to acknowledge all who have prayed but not called me because you understand that I cannot answer your calls.

We made it for 7am Mass again this morning, Pete had a bowl of mee sua and then we had to rush home because of the rain.

Please continue to pray for Pete recovery and for the Lord to bless him with healing.

Pete's fever and pain is gone!

Just thought I would update all before you go to bed. Pete managed to walk out and sit at the dining table for Eileen to change his dressing. Eileen says the wound is better than last night, still a little pus but more blood, which according to the nurse is a good sign.
Pete's fever and pain is gone and no vomitting too. He was able to eat a banana and drink lots of h20.
Once again we thank all for your intercession and prayers for us. May the Lord grant all a restful night.

Steroids or not?

Dear Prayers Warriors
When we saw Dr Ho, the neurosurgeon before he went on leave, he advised us to tamper down the steroids. Pete had been on 2mgtwice a day but Dr Ho instructed us to bring it down ad fast as possible. So Pete been on 0.5mg twice a day for 2 days already. This morning, I gave Pete his 0.5mg but in the afternoon he was experiencing great pain in his tail bone, I had no choice but give him 1mg instead of the 0.5mg which Dr Ho suggested. His pain was so bad he also asked for pain killers and he had started to vomit again this afternoon. He also had fever of 38 degrees this afternoon.
Please pray that I am doing the right thing and that his vomitting and pain will stop. Because of the vomitting, he had not eaten at all except for a few teaspoons of porridge.
Please support us with your prayers tonight. God bless.

Pete has got the MRSA bug again

We saw the Infectious Disease Doctor today and was told the culture final results show that the wound does have the MRSA bug.
Dr Lam prescribed an antibiotic Zyvox to tackle the bug. Pete will
be on it for 7 days starting today.

We see all 3 doctors: Dr Lee, radiotherapy oncologist, Dr Kong, onco and Dr Lam, all on 20 Oct.
Please pray that Pete will response well to the antibiotics and be on the road to recovery, now that we know which bug is troubling him.

We are relieved that Pete does not have to be admitted.

All praise and glory to Our God.
Special thanks to Mike and Gillian who have been bringing Holy Communion to Pete all this while. Also thanks to Eileen who has been coming to dress Pete's wound despite her busy schedule, also to Norbet who drives her.
Thanks Angie for your help in providing the transport, my dear cousins, Cat & Murthi, Bert& Kath and Ramona for their endless support, my dear sister, Jean for visiting, the food people; Connie, Susana, Winston and Dorothy and The FLM group at Holy Spirit.

We thank God nightly for you and your generosity, we also thank you for your continued prayers and words of encouragement.

Going home to monitor

Dear Prayer Warriors
we have just seen Dr Ho, the neurosurgeon. He took a sample of the pus and we will have the results soon. Meantime, we are tampering off the steroids and the bp medication to aid in the healing of the wound. Dr Ho is not too worried about the pus, there is just a little. The fever could be due to many things, even death of tumour. So please pray that the tumours are eradicated, we can take the fever. Last 2 days, Pete has been well despite the 38 degree fever.

Thank you for all your prayers. We praise and thank God for His mercy and healing!

Fever is up and down

Dear Prayer Warriors
Pete's fever came down yesterday with panadol but was up again last night. We gave him panadol only at 5am. Fever is down again.

Will call Dr Wong again this morning to ask for advice. Please pray that Pete does not have to be admitted again.

More prayers needed

Dear Prayer Warriors
Pete had been doing well, eating a little more, and sitting up more. Yesterday, with help from our dear friend Alicia, he was able to sit up and clear some email, though not all.

However, last night, we found some pus from his head wound, where the Omaya had been removed. It was worrying as he was also running a fever. After panadol, fever subsided.

Now, however, fever is up again, 38.2. Please pray that it is just a superficial infection and that the fever will subside soon.

Pete is eating a little more

Dear Prayer Warriors
Pete is doing well. Last night, he got up and walked to the dining table for dinner. He Finished three quarters of a bowl of kway teow soup. Then he stayed around to enjoy fruits from the fruit basket, compliments of Euan and family.

We talked and even prayed the rosary for all who have helped us in so many different ways and for Nicole who is sitting for PSLE now. After that he stayed to watch TV. He had a restful sleep.

This morning, he had to have his favourite coffee at Shunfu Mart so we went there. Our favourite Char Siew Rice stall was happy to see him back but refused to give him too much char siew. He only finished half of his noodles and 3 pieces of char siew. Nonetheless, Brian and I are happy that he is in better spirits. He sat and watched TV for a long while before walking on his own back to bed.

As usual, he is taking his afternoon nap without his lunch.
We praise and thank God for his mercy and healing.

Please continue to pray that :
-the Iressa, the oral tablet for the lung tumour, continues to remain effective in shrinking the tumour.
- that the radiotherapy is very effective in controlling the leptomenigeal disease
- that Pete regains his strength fast so that he can go back to work.
Pete has indicated that there are things he needs to settle at work. Going back to work will
boost his self esteem and confidence too.

Thank you and God bless all of you

Alleluia! CT scan shows lung tumour is stable

Pete did a CT scan before he was discharged this morning and Dr Kong just called to say that the scan shows no spread to other organs. Lung tumour is stable. This is great news! Conclusion is that the raised cancer markers were due to the brain. We have just finished the radiotherapy and Dr Lee, the radiotherapy oncologist will review Pete on 20 Oct.

Thank you so much Prayer Warriors and ALL who have helped us in so many different ways, from food to transport, to offering endless Masses, to abstaining from visiting and just storming heaven. Pete and I and the children thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

I know many have indicated that you would like to visit, we ask that you give us some time to allow him to rest. He has been sleeping much since the radiotherapy. We thank you for your understanding.

Once again we give praise and thanks to God, the Almighty who can do great things! Please continue to pray for us, especially our daughter,Nicole who is sitting for her PSLE now. She has been left on her own when Pete was not well, it has been a month.

Pete will be discharged today

Thanks for all your prayers. Pete just had his last radiotherapy session today and is doing CT now. He will also go home today. Please pray that he will have a speedy recovery. God bless all of you.

Fever has come down

Fever has subsided as of now,in fact started coming down as soon as medication was given. Brian has just SMS to say that temperature is 36.5 and blood pressure is very good. Please continue to pray.

Pete is admitted again

Please storm heaven again, pete is running a fever and we brought him in. Dr Kong suggested we monitor him for a few days since the fever is 38.6. Please pray that it is nothing serious.

Pete was at Murthi's Rite of Acceptance

Pete had been lying in bed all Friday and Saturday, he had been sleeping lots and is so tired and lethargic, he wants his meals in the room.

Last night, my cousin Catherine came to inform Pete that her husband, Murthi would be taking his Rite of Acceptance for the RCIA process. He was delighted and it was the best news he had received for a long time. He asked me three times what time the ceremony would be and was sure he was going to attend despite the fact that he had not eaten much at all these last 2 days. I was nervous because I would be alone with him,; Brian was going for the Triathlon.

This morning, he was unable to wake up for 7am Mass but when I asked him if he was serious in going for Murthi's Rite of Acceptance, he got up immediately.

After much waiting, we made it to Novena Church at 10.45am. Pete sat through the whole ceremony, absorbing the Readings and the entire procedure with his eyes closed. Many times, he nodded and it was as though he was going through the ceremony himself. We even made it through lunch. This is the first time in many days that Pete has been out so long and eaten a reasonable lot, considering that he had barely eaten these few days.

I praise and thank God for the opportunity for Pete to witness Murthi's Rite of Acceptance. It was a beautiful ceremony and I am sure Pete treasured every moment of it. He told Murthi he had waited for this for a very long time.

In today's reading Timothy says " God did not give us a spirit of cowardice but rather of Power". May God the Almighty fill each of us with His Power so that we can do wonderful things for Him and His Kingdom.

Please pray with me this prayer for Pete:" Father, break off the hold fear has in my life.Plant your love in my heart instead. I want to be a vessel of your Grace and Power today".( Taken from Word Among Us)

Thank you for your prayers again !

Dear Prayer Warriors
thank you for storming heaven yet another time. After a scare at about 2 am this morning in which Pete did not respond to me, Brian, took over and tried to make his father respond to him. He was able to squeeze Brian's hand and shake his head.
Thankfully, he was able to get up for toilet and to sip many sips of H2O. H2O contains sodium and electrolytes.

This morning Pete did not get up till 9 and was able to hold some bread and oats. Brian also bought his favourite coffee. Pete had the 7th session of radiotherapy. I think it does wear him out but at least he is eating today.

This afternoon we were blessed to have friends from CPS, Edmund, Eunice and Christian visit and pray over Pete. He received Holy Communion and was anointed with the relic of St Therese of the Child Jesus, whose feast day we celebrate today! Christian said it is not a coincidence that they have come today. Yes, indeed! The Lord chooses his day and time, all for the Glory of His Name! St Therese, pray for us.

We thank you for your unceasing prayers for Pete and us, his family too. Gillian my dear sister bought satay for Pete. You should have seen the look on his face when he put the satay in his mouth and said 'hmmmm'.
Thank you Eiileen, for taking over these 2 days so I can catch a few hours of sleep.

We thank and praise God for the many blessings He has sent to us in the form you, our prayer community, the generosity of friends and neighbours, everyone who has supported us is prayer. God bless you

Pete is weak again

Sorry have not updated for a few days. Pete was doing well until yesterday. He came home from radiotherapy but had no appetite. Dr lee had suggested stepping down the steroids slowly so we started on one dose instead of two yesterday. Unfortunately, Pete is reacting to it, it caused vomitting all over again. Last night, Pete vomitted 3 times over and was very weak. We took him this morning to Dr Wong for a sodium drip, sodium is low again. We will put back the steroids and monitor. He is running a slight fever now. Please pray

All glory and praise to God!

Dear Prayer Warriors, Our Saints and Angels

Pete is doing very well, drawing strength from the Lord each passing day.

Yesterday we went for evening Mass and managed to climb up the stairs all the way to the second level and again up the highest pews on the second level.

Today, we went for the 3rd Radiotherapy session after doing blood test and removing stitches. Then we had lunch at Paragon and headed back to see Dr Kong. It must be tiring for Pete who has not walked so far in the last 2 weeks but he managed very well.

Dr Kong is, of course very happy with Pete's progress. Blood test readings are good, best part is the cancer markers are down to 11.4 from 12.9
This is good news indeed and we thank you once again for all your prayers and masses offered for Pete.

I want to express our sincere appreciation to Angie who has provided transport for our trips to the hospital. Thanks Angie!

I am waiting for Pete to update you, meanwhile, please continue to pray that Pete will not suffer any side effects and that the treatment will be effective.
By the way, Pete has not taken any pain-killers for the last 2 nights! Alleluia!

God is good ... ALL the TIME

Pete had a good sleep last night

Thank you for your night prayers for Pete. He had a good sleep last night. Only got up at 2am for pee then slept right through till 7am.

He ate Koo chye kway and soon kway for breakfast. Has been sitting up and watching tv all morning.

We have been really pampered by our cousins, especially Catherine & Murthi, Kathleen&Albert and Ramona. We thank them for going across the island to get food just to excite Pete. Also, thank you Angie for the char kway teow earlier this week. Thank you to Nancy & Stephen for breakfast at the hospital and for coming over to check on Nicole every night. Thanks to Jo, my Neighbour for providing food, Mag for sending Nicole to catechism and tuition and the surprises this morning. Thank you Norbet for sending me every morning and picking me up every night. Thanks Daniel, Esther n Karen for helping with transport yesterday.
There is an endless list of people we are grateful to. We thank you so much. Those who have not called but are with us in prayer, we thank you so much too, I know you all have been praying and not smsing does not mean you don't care, it in fact helps greatly since I cannot answer everyone's call / sms or email.
Please continue to pray for us.

He has been sleeping lots

Dear Prayer Warriors

Pete was discharged this afternoon. He had lunch at the hospital so when we came back, he headed straight for his bed. Has been sleeping lots, did not get up till half hour ago to have his dinner. Ate porridge (delivered by Nancy, our dearest Neighbour)with rendang ( delivered by Catherine, my dearest cousin). Enjoyed it. He has gone back to sleep again.
Please pray that he has restful night.

We continue to ask for your prayers for Pete total and complete recovery. Good night

Pete is home

Still in the car on the way home.

Thank you for your prayers. We request no visitors for the time being. Thanks

Pete is sleeping now

Dear Prayer Warriors
thank you so much for your prayers once again. Pete had his second radiotherapy treatment today. Was able to take his dinner. Resting much. He just asked for a second pain killer, sleeping soundly now. Please pray that he gets a restful night.

We thank and praise God for you, our prayer community. Without your prayers we would not have be able to overcome this ordeal. The boys and I have definitely felt the power of your prayers carrying through. Without your prayers, Pete would not have received the grace and healing that you have stormed heaven for. This is truly our Faith! Faith and Love that binds us together.

We would like to thank the so many people who have rendered practical help; taking care of Nicole, ferrying her for classes, taking care of her meals, and so many other needs. Norbet, who has been driving me to and from the hospital, cousins who have delivered food and everything else, Ramona, who is doing night duty again tonight, Mike n Gillian who have brought Jesus to Pete,
AND the countless number of people whom I have so boldly called upon to help, thank you so much!

Thank you so much for showing us the unconditional love of Our heavenly Father. God bless each and everyone of you.

Pete is feeling much better this morning

Thank you for your prayers last night.

Pete and Gerard had a good sleep last night after the steroids. Pete looks better this morning,vision is also better.
We are just out in the sun for some fresh air. Culture which they have taken is not growing bacteria so that is good news.

Thank you all for your unceasing intercession for Pete. We ask that you pray that the next 9 days of treatment will be tolerated well, with no side effects and pain and that it will be very effective in treating the disease.

God bless you all.

Pete is on pain again

Dear prayer warriors

Pete is in pain again. The doctor stepped down on steroids and I guess that is the reason for the pain again. Tonight he had taken the 2 types of painkillers and it has not solved the pain problem. They are giving him more steroids so he can rest. The headache is also the side effects of the radiotherapy. Please pray that he can rest tonight.
Thank you FLM families for praying for Pete at the Padre Pio Mass tonight.

Pete went for his 1st RT today

There seemed to be a big mixup but they sent for Pete about 4.30 and said he was going for radio therapy. The session lasted 10 min. Pete is resting now. Tomorrow, we will have another 10 min. This will carry on for the next 10 days ending on Oct 6.

We still do not have the culture results for the lumbar puncture but expect it soon.

Dear Prayer Warriors, we know that you are just storming heaven for Pete's recovery. Please pray tonight for him to rest well and not to have any side effects. They say he may have some headache but please pray against it. Please pray that Pete will have a restful night with no side effects from RT and that Pete will respond well to the treatment.

Thank you all for the prayers for Pete and the family. Pete will have Gerard as night nurse tonight.

Pete had his char kway teow!

Wow, delivered hot, Pete had his char kway teow for lunch! It was a huge packet but he finished 3/4 of it! Thanks a million Angie!
You should have seen the way he was eating, not fast enough for him.

We have 3 more packets left! Please tell the others DO NOT bring any char kway teow tonight!
Thank you all for your love and concern for Pete.

Thanks Rose for doing the night duty last night.

Pete had good sleep last night

Except for a slight stiff neck, Pete is ok.

Had his chee cheong fun and bee hoon from Shunfu Mart.
Please pray that his stiff neck does not come back as they may have to step up steroids if it does.

Tomorrow, he will start his radiotherapy. Please continue to storm heaven.

Pete resting well

Pete had the lumbar puncture at 3pm to check on the CSF to see if the infection is all gone.

We probably will have the results tomorrow. He had his dinner in bed. Kath and Bert brought minestrone soup for him which he enjoyed very much since he had been fasting since 10am. He is yearning to eat Zion Road Char Kway Teow! Which kind soul will buy for him?
Tomorrow, he wants chee cheong fun for breakfast! I will tar pow that for him.

Once again we thank and praise God for his healing. We thank you prayer warriors for your prayers. Please continue to pray that the results will be good and that the coming radiotherapy treatment will be effective. God bless you all.

Doc says Pete can go home if results are ok

Dear Prayer Warriors

Brian did night duty again last night. Pete says he was great. Dr Lam is happy with Pete's progress and expect him to be discharged soon if the lumbar test results confirm that infection is well under control. He may go home with just oral antibiotics.

Radiotherapy will likely start on Friday and if all goes well, Pete can go home on Saturday.

He is fasting now for lumbar procedure at 2 pm.

Please pray that the procedure will not cause pain and reaction.

We continue to thank and praise God the Almighty for granting Healing to Pete.

Peter is well and doing fine!

Praise the Lord for His Mercy and Healing. Pete is doing very well. We had just come back from one hour of fresh air and sunshine in the garden. It was good. Pete just finished his dinner. We had the honour of having Fr Frans who spent some time with us in the afternoon. We also had good laughs with relatives.

Thank you so much for your prayers. Please continue to pray for his speedy recovery.
Last night we met Dr Lee who explained radiotherapy treatment to us. He will treat the brain first then do the spine later. We have felt much peace listening to him. Mike and Gillian who had come to bring Holy Communion to Pete listened in and felt the same peace. We thank you for your prayers in asking the Lord to guide us in our decision.

We cannot thank you enough for your prayers. We know that you will continue to support us in prayer as Pete goes through his treatment.

God bless you abundantly!

Pete is sitting up and just gone for sunshine

Dear Prayers Warriors

God is great and he has shown his mercy! Pete has been sitting up and watching tv, talking to Anne, Gerard n Brian's Godma.
He is so much better, asked for coffee, finished his apple tart.

Has been awake since 1pm.
Let's hope we get good sleep tonite.

We are waiting to meet Dr Lee, radiologist to understand how he can help.

Please pray for the Lord to guide us in our decision

Dear prayer warriors
Thank God Pete is eating well again. This morning he sat up on a chair to eat his breakfast and he finished all ! He even finished the 2 small soft boiled eggs and a butter roll. We had a wild night again, he was hallucinating again the entire and did not get rest till 2am. This morning he had slight hallucination and managed to read the papers.

Managed to sit up for a while, had planned to go out into the garden for some sunshine but had to do antibiotic drip, will do it this evening.

Dr Wong is amazed at the recovery on the left eye nerve. However since we are not doing anything to manage the brain disease, she is asking the Radiologist to relook at doing radiology, an option which was considered bad since it has many side effects. Dr Lee did not advise using radiology because it involves the entire brain and his spine may collapse.

Please pray for me, pray for the Lord to guide me to make a decision that is according to His plan and will. It is very painful to see him suffer the pain, I am not sure if he can take the radiology. Please join me in prayer and intercession to the Lord.

Please pray over our decision

Dear Prayer Warriors

My sister, Jean in Auckland NZ, has been encouraging me to try intravenous Vitamin C for Pete. There is a video attached. I cannot get any doctor to approve it here while Pete is still in hospital but I do know of someone who will administer it in his clinic.

We hope the IV Vit C will support Pete's immune system through the necessary procedures, chemo and radiotherapy which he may have to do in order to rid the cancer.

I ask that you all pray for us, That if this is what the Lord wants us to do, to give me courage to approach the Doctors and achieve success in convincing them to do it for me. This may be God's miracle for us. Please read the attached links.

http://www.disclose.tv/action/viewvideo/52580/60_min_NZ_Living_Proof__Man_Cured_by_Vitamin_C/
 
http://integrativemed.kumc.edu/ivvitaminc.htm
http://www.avianweb.com/vitaminccancertreatment.html
http://www.riordanclinic.org/chronic/chronic.shtml
 
See if you can watch this too.
http://www.3news.co.nz/Vitamin-C-debate-continues/tabid/367/articleID/176688/Default.aspx

Alleluia! Praise the Lord!

Ramona, my cousin did night duty for me last night. We are grateful for the sleep we had.

Pete is looking and doing so much better this morning. He actually asked for food! Ate birds nest that Kathleen made, then a beverage drink, then bee tai mak. Then ate a piece of butter roll. He is talking n chatting. Eye can open but I guess it takes a while before he can see clearly. The steroids are helping him feel comfortable. No pain this morning and did not need pain killers!

Oh my dear prayer warriors, we thank you for all your prayers! Please continue to storm heaven that the antibiotics will work fast and effectively so that we can get out soon. They expect to keep Pete for a week.
Please also pray that the disease is not aggressive and will not complicate matters while we clear the infection.

Please pray

Pete is not doing well, please pray. His eye nerve seems affected, he can't see. Bp is high. They are giving him steroids to stablize him. Please please pray

Pete went through the op

Dear Prayer Warriors
thank you so much for your prayers and intercession, Pete is doing well after the operation. He is alert and lucid, able to tell us how he feels. Last night, he had a male nurse, our son Gerard, who did not sleep at all but kept a good watch on him.

Pete is still experiencing some pain from his shoulders from lying down so much. Appetite is not great but managed to get something.

The infection that Pete has caught is MRSA, bug from the hospital. We are down under another Doc who is tasked to treat the infection aggressively. She thinks the infection is in its early stages and is straight forward. We have been moved to a single bedded room. Hopefully, Pete is able to rest better in the quiet.

I thank God for my children; they have been a great encouragement and strength for me. Brian keeps counting our blessings saying that We. Should thank God because we found out early about the infection.

We had our Family prayer tonight at the hospital. We prayed for Pete's healing and recovery. We also offered a decade of the rosary for your intentions, for the people who have supported us in prayer, for all who have helped us in so many ways. We asked the Lord to grant you blessings and Grace.

Please continue to storm heaven, for the Lord 's Power to rid the infection and the cancer, for the antibiotics to work effectively. 'with the Lord, nothing is impossible!

R. (14) I will walk in the presence of God, in the light of the living.
Now I know that God is with me.
In God, in whose promise I glory,
in God I trust without fear;
what can flesh do against me?
R. I will walk in the presence of God, in the light of the living.
I am bound, O God, by vows to you;
your thank offerings I will fulfill.
For you have rescued me from death,
my feet, too, from stumbling;
that I may walk before God in the light of the living.
R. I will walk in the presence of God, in the light of the living.

Pete has to go for another operation to remove the Omaya reservoir

Dr Ho, our neurosurgeon thinks there may be an infection in the omaya. As such he is recommending that we remove the omaya instead of running the risks of further infection. The operation is schedule for first thing tmr morning, hopefully before 8am.
Dear friends, prayer warriors, please pray for the success of this operation. Pray that the antibiotics given now will kill off the
infection if any.
Most of all, please pray for an increase in our faith as we continue to implore the Lord for His healing touch on Pete. We beileve that our prayers will be answered.
May the precious Blood of Our Lord Jesus Christ cover Pete from head to toe and protect him from all infection and harm, may His Blood cleanse Pete from every cancer cell.
Amen

Pete not going home today

Pete is feeling drowsy and has been sleeping lots again after the MTX yesterday. Blood pressure is high and the doctor thinks it is due to the steroids. But she attributes the fast recovery to the steroids so we have to stay on them for a while and take them off in stages. Some of you may be wondering why I am referring to Pete onco as 'she'. Dr Kong's partner, Dr Wong Zee Wan, has been taking good care of Pete.
Please pray that Pete will be well enough for discharge tomorrow. We also do the PET scan after the discharge. Please continue tonpray that all will be fine.

Pete is much better now

I am happy to report that Pete is much better this morning, after half a scare early this morning.
The Doctors had ordered some steroids to speed up his recovery. Late yesterday afternoon, he was developing a reaction towards it. He was hallucinating and seeing agonizing images every time he closes his eyes. It became so bad that he could not sleep at all. Only after sedating him could he sleep. He slept well after 3.45am.
Dr Wong administered the chemo MTX for him at 11.00. She has also taken some fluid samples for testing. He needs to lie down for the next 4 hours.

He is off drip now and we will monitor for a day. If all is well, Pete can go home tomorrow. Please continue to pray for his recovery.

Oh, another piece of good news, the CEA markers have come down to 12. This is fantastic news, it means the chemo is working. He had 2 earlier doses of MTX.
Alleluia and thanks be to God.

We would like to record our sincere and deepest apreciation to Nancy
& Stephen,Eileen &Norbert, Mike&Gillian, Tai Tee& Angie, for all the practical help rendered.
We continue to request no visitors as he is now on chemo. We thank all for your understanding. We draw strength knowing that many have been storming heaven for Pete.
The Lord has indeed answered your prayers and granted Pete a speedy recovery. Please continue to pray that the chemo will be very effective in destroying all the cancer cells.
To God be the Glory!

Had to admit Pete

I had a frightening night the previous night. Pete had been vomitting as you all know, but on Sunday night, he suddenly began to sound scary. He kept asking what time his scan was and was not coordinated. He seemed disoriented and did not remember our friends' name. On Monday morning, he did not even react to Nicole when she said goodbye to him just before school. We brought him to Mt E and he did not recognize our friends Stephen and Nancy, Eileen , Brian and myself!
At the A&E, he said he was 23 and couldn't recognize his friend Dr Euan. They immediately put him on sodium drip. He seemed a little better after that.They also did a brain scan, thankfully, no bleeding or clots.
His condition is Hyponatremia, where the sodium level is abnormally low.
The Doctors want to keep him in for a while, likely only out on Thursday. Hopefully, they can give him another dose of MTX and monitor his reaction before he goes home.
He is stable now, sodium level creeping up. Nonetheless, still sleeping lots and can't stay awake.
We thank you for your continued prayers for his recovery. We request that you do not visit as he is still very drowsy. Also the chemo brings down his immunity and he cannot afford to catch anything.

Pete is eating slightly more

Yesterday, we took Pete to see the Onco. They gave him a drip with an anti-nausea medication Kytril.

No more throwing up yesterday except when he got choked with the skin of the plum.
Eating a little more but energy level is still low, sleeping a lot.

This morning we made it to Mass but he was feeling drowsy and giddy. Guess the body is still adjusting to the lack of food for so many days.

Please pray that his appetite picks up and that he will be well enough for the PET scan and chemo on Monday.

Dear Friends, please storm heaven, that the PET scan will be ok. Also that he does not suffer too much after chemo again on Monday.

We thank and praise God, our loving Father for you, our prayer community, who have supported us in prayer all this time, for my cousins, Albert and Kath, Cat and Murthi who have brought us food and provided transport, for Mike for bringing Jesus in Holy Communion and the many who have shown care and love to Pete and our family.

We know that many of you read this blog and are interceeding unceasingly for us. Your prayers mean a lot to us and we believe that our Father in heaven will relent and show mercy and deliver Pete from this suffering. Today's first reading speaks of God's mercy when Abraham pleaded to God. We believe He will do the same for Pete.

Please pray for Pete to recover

Our dear Saints and Angels
You have supported us in prayer and once again we ask you to interceed for us. Since his discharge, Pete has not been eating much. Today is bad, he threw up many times and unable to retain the food he eats.
We are not sure if it is the side effects of this new chemo. We had another dose of chemo yesterday, the first one on Monday, done in the OT itself. His energy level is low and has been sleeping. Of course, he is feeling really low too.

Please storm heaven to get him out of this situation. It is very painful to see him throw up. Also we need your continued prayers for the chemo to work very effectively so that we can get off this chemo. Most of all, Pete is doing a PET scan on Monday at 10.30am. Please pray that the cancer is only in the lungs.

Please pray that the Lord increase and deepen our faith in this time of trial.

Pete is going home!

Alleluia ! Praise be to God! Pete is going home now. Thank you all for your prayers, support and love. Please continue to storm heaven fir the chemo to work. Next dose of chemo is thursday. Then again next Monday and Thursday.

update

Had talk with Dr Kong this morning. Plan is to inject MVT twice a week for 4 weeks, reduce to once a week for another 4 then once a fortnight. This will be the regime for the cranial spinal fluid. Will do the fluid test on a periodic basis to assess.will continue with Iressa for now. Will do a PET scan and blood test on Monday. This will determine the state of the lungs and any other development. Options stay on Iressa, switch to tarciva or chemotherapy. I will remain positive open. God has been good!

Update 6 sept-thank God, Pete is fine

Pete is going well after the procedure. He just had his dinner. Lousy! Tks Euan for the fruits! He had some from the basket already since dinner was bad. If all goes well, may be able to go home tomorrow if all goes well. Looks pretty sexy with spiky hair. They had to gel
it in the op. Thank you all for prayers. We ask that you continue to storm heaven for the chemo to be very effective to rid all the cancer cells.

We thank all who have joined us in prayer, offered help, housed my daughter, thanks Joyce n Rachel, Bert for sending us, Catherine for spending the entire day with me, Ramona who kept us company. Everyone else who have supported us in love and concern.

Next Steps - 2 Sept 2010

Dear friend and all, Thank You for your prayers. I have some new, which took Jo and myself by surprise yesterday and we are still adjusting, coping. I went for a Head and Spine MRI on 1 September. The findings from the MRI was not the usual findings I was expecting and hoping. It showed leptomeningeal spread, indication is that there are cancer cell in the cranial spinal fluid. Chemotherapy will be the course of action, however the chemo drug has to be injected directly into the cranial fluid, oral or injected medicine will not be able to penetrate the membrane that protect/isolate the cranial fluid. Met with a neurosurgeon today, he will have to create a opening and place an Omaya port on my head. He will lift a small portion of scalp, drill a small hole in the skull, insert a catheter to reach the cranial fluid and place a port, connect it to the catheter, on the skull and pull the scalp over it and stitch. Surgery scheduled about noon on Monday, will be about an hour, under GA. Will have to stay in hospital for few days for observation and likely a week medical leave at home. This port will be where the Chemo medication will be injected twice a week for now. The first dose be be given in the operating theater when the port is being placed.

I am bit anxious this round as it involves an operation on the skull and putting a tube pass the brain, blood vessel to reach the cranial fluid membrane. I ask for your prayers to guide the neurosurgeon.

Yesterday and today has been trying, we are still adapting to the news and at the same time talking to the surgeon. Many things are going through or over the head and we are trying our best to Trust God and that He will protect and guide us in the decisions we made.

I ask you for your generous prayer for my family and myself to Trust fully in God and that He will guide us and watch over us. I understand what needs to be done, I know what will happen, I believe that God is with me now, during the operation and after. But at moments of weakness I feel overwhelmed with what's happening and can't understand why ?

I am not shy to ask people to pray for us and many have already, my fellow Holy Land Pilgrim, friend from Christ the King and Holy Spirit Church and old school buddies. Can't express enough thanks to Euan for him being there for Jo and I, taught me what a true friend really means and does for you.

We are uncertain what happens after Monday but Jo and I will hold on to our Faith and trust that God will be there guiding us.

31 August morning prayer

When Jo and I said our morning prayer, Jo told me that the Canticle today was the same as the last time in July when I went for the head MRI. Again today I will be going for my head and spine MRI. I do not believe in co-incidences and will claim this message today.

Isaiah Chapter 38
In those days, when Hezekiah was mortally ill, the prophet Isaiah, son of Amoz, came and said to him: "Thus says the LORD: Put your house in order, for you are about to die; you shall not recover." Then Hezekiah turned his face to the wall and prayed to the LORD: "O LORD, remember how faithfully and wholeheartedly I conducted myself in your presence, doing what was pleasing to you!" And Hezekiah wept bitterly. Then the word of the LORD came to Isaiah: "Go, tell Hezekiah: Thus says the LORD, the God of your father David: I have heard your prayer and seen your tears. I will heal you: in three days you shall go up to the LORD'S temple; I will add fifteen years to your life. I will rescue you and this city from the hand of the king of Assyria; I will be a shield to this city." Isaiah then ordered a poultice of figs to be taken and applied to the boil, that he might recover. Then Hezekiah asked, "What is the sign that I shall go up to the temple of the LORD?" (Isaiah answered:) "This will be the sign for you from the LORD that he will do what he has promised: See, I will make the shadow cast by the sun on the stairway to the terrace of Ahaz go back the ten steps it has advanced." So the sun came back the ten steps it had advanced.
The song of Hezekiah, king of Judah, after he had been sick and had recovered from his illness: Once I said, "In the noontime of life I must depart! To the gates of the nether world I shall be consigned for the rest of my years." I said, "I shall see the LORD no more in the land of the living. No longer shall I behold my fellow men among those who dwell in the world." My dwelling, like a shepherd's tent, is struck down and borne away from me; You have folded up my life, like a weaver who severs the last thread. Day and night you give me over to torment; I cry out until the dawn. Like a lion he breaks all my bones; (day and night you give me over to torment). Like a swallow I utter shrill cries; I moan like a dove. My eyes grow weak, gazing heavenward: O Lord, I am in straits; be my surety! What am I to say or tell him? He has done it! I shall go on through all my years despite the bitterness of my soul. Those live whom the LORD protects; yours. . . the life of my spirit. You have given me health and life; thus is my bitterness transformed into peace. You have preserved my life from the pit of destruction, When you cast behind your back all my sins. For it is not the nether world that gives you thanks, nor death that praises you; Neither do those who go down into the pit await your kindness. The living, the living give you thanks, as I do today. Fathers declare to their sons, O God, your faithfulness. The LORD is our savior; we shall sing to stringed instruments In the house of the LORD all the days of our life.

Hello - 30 August

Hi everyone. Jo and I had a busy weekend. We attended the 4th Saturday Healing mass at CSC last saturday. It was also a celebration of Fr. Gino's 50th year of his priestly Golden Jubilee. It was a grace fill celebration. The Archbishop, Fr Simon, Fr Bill Heng and Fr William celebrated the Eucharist. It was a lovely celebration. Room was packed about 120% of the usual crowd! 'Father, Glorify they son that the son may glorify thee' John 17:1 was on the souvenior card. It was really a beautiful celebration. After communion, Fr Gino prayed for those present and his final words was for all to pray; "Lord Jesus grant me full healing" He was such a humble person and so full of holiness and peace.

I mentioned that there was this nagging ache, caused by the muscle tightness at the back of the neck. It caused the left shoulder blade to ache, the neck to ache and the back of the head to ach too. took Celebrex between Thursday and Sunday, helped some but the ache came back every morning. Decided to see Dr Kong today, he was concern and wanted a brain MRI and spine scan done. Scheduled it for Tuesday 4.15pm and will see him on 1 Sept at 11am. schedule is tight as Dr Kong will be leaving on 1 Sept afternoon for a 3 days conference. I will hold on to Fr Gino's message" Lord Jesus grant me full healing". The MRI will see if there is a need for radiology to be done on the 'growth' in the brain, the last time (2 month ago) there were some small cell, the original 2 from last year had shrunk. The Spine scan is to determine the cause of these aches on the neck and shoulder. I pray for full healing and hold on to God's promise (John 11:4) I hope that some of these sharing and reflection over the past months give glory to God and Jesus.

I am staying positive as that's what God expects of me. I am going for the MRI tomorrow to determine the source of the aches and/or confirm that nothing is wrong. Jo thinks that I am getting too much radiation with these frequent test, I agree but I want to take a proactive step, with a careful doctor that God has given me to do all that's needed to be healed! I cannot sit around and wait,hoping... I believe that I need to take an active step to seek treatment if necessary early to work with God in His plan. I ask that you (and I am grateful to each of you) pray for me and my family that we remain grounded and hold-on to this wonderful faith that the Father has granted and keep us a close loving family. Thank You and God Blessing be upon you.

In closing tonight I wish you Peace and Love of the Father. AMEN

bone scan

Got a call this morning and the bone scan done yesterday was good. No trace of any cancer cells in the bones. Scan was done from head to toes. Praise the Lord. Thank all who prayed with me. God speaks in many ways, yesterday's first reading was from Ezekiel and it was God showing the prophet dry bones and he put life back to them. How appropriate. The messages we get, imagine the first reading was about bones of Israel and how God put life back and here.I waiting to have my bones scanned, He already reassuring that He has promised life. To all, Trust in God and knock me on the head if I forget. Peace be with you.

18 August update - add-on to 16 Aug

Met up with Dr Kong on Tuesday morning. Had the blood test and X-ray done earlier. The blood test result still show that the markers creeping up. The CEA is now 13.2 from 10.2 last month, CA125 from 11.3 to 13.4. The X-ray did not show anything new since the marker increase was low. He however wants to watch closely and look out for signs that may indicate activity of the cancer cell and that Iressa may not be working well anymore. He scheduled me for a bone scan to be done this Friday, to validate if there were any cancer cells in the bones.

I have another blood test scheduled for 13 Sept. Should the CEA markers continue to rise, he wants to do a PET scan again to see activity area and start on Tarceva (a different oral medication) and maybe radiology for the head. Radiology of the head can only be done once, and it carries a risk of possible some memory loss. Therefore he would delay this options unless needed. These are next stage options after Iressa. My desire is for the Cancer markers to stablize, come down and go away. It is such a toll on Jo.

I will keep you posted and ask for your prayers to continue to Trust God and hold on to my Faith. Pray for Jo too, she is under much pressure and stress too taking care of the family and trying to cope with what's happening.

I want to share something that happened during mass yesterday. It was the Feast of the Assumption of Mary. During homily, the picture of being immersed in River Jordon was very vivid. Being held under the water, eyes open and observing the greenish water, small fished, looking beyond the water level the trees and the bright sun. It was blissful but I felt 'dead' and after taking in these scenes I was pushed up, out of the river to the light. It felt like I was coming back to life, was born again and given a new life. I was very grateful for this baptism experience of dying and coming back fully alive. This was the point during the pilgrimage, 3 years ago, that I felt was given a new life. I was really happy! However during consecration I was filled with an immense heart-ache. An uncontrollable sadness filled me and tears filled my eyes. As Fr Andrew raise the body and blood, I wanted to focus on Jesus but my eyes made a quick look at the congregation. A quick glance made me feel how sad Jesus must feel, many turned to their family/children next to them, others chatting etc at this very special moment of the Eucharistic celebration. I felt that no-one was paying attention. How ungrateful we all are, coming to church on Sunday for mass, calling ourselves Catholics and oblivious to this very special moment. I really felt very heavy hearted and tears in my eyes.

I thank God for calling me to the pilgrimage three years ago and giving me the very special moment then and now. I also want to thank my fellow pilgrims that have become close family and continue to pick me up along my journey. No word can express my thankfulness to Fr Terence, I borrowed the expression from Karen Ko, 'who continues to till the soil and prunes the thorns month after month so that I can continue to response as a disciple.

“I am with you.” (Jeremiah 15:20)

Thought this was something that we all go through and wanted to share. This is taken from the 28 July Meditation from Word Among Us.

Surely each of us has had tough days. Maybe even tough weeks or months. One problem after another seems to pile up—sometimes relatively inconsequential things: We oversleep and are late for work or school, we misplace something valuable, or someone else gets the attention we want. We may face much more serious setbacks: We lose our job, our health fails, or we feel alone or isolated. We may even suffer when we see those we love undergoing hardships. Our faith can be shaken to the point where we begin to question whether God really is with us.

Jeremiah has important words for us at times like these: God has not abandoned us! As a prophet of the Lord, he went through difficulty himself. Just think of how it felt when he was arrested and almost killed for speaking the word of the Lord. Or imagine what it cost him to experience in his own heart the pain that God feels when his people turn from him. In the midst of these hardships, Jeremiah cried out to God, and God comforted him. Did Jeremiah have to face his own failings and repent? Yes. Did he have to continue on despite the difficulty? Yes. But God affirmed that he would always be with Jeremiah and would deliver and rescue him.

Do you feel burdened? Do you feel that your relationship with God is not what it once was? Don’t give up! It’s precisely at those times when you don’t feel God’s presence that you need to exercise your faith all the more. Go ahead and repent if you need to. Take a deep breath, offer a silent prayer of trust, and take up your cross again. Choose to keep going, even if you are apprehensive. You will find the Lord walking with you, even if it’s in unexpected ways.

It is beyond question that God loves you. Today, take hold of opportunities to put your faith into practice. When your hope begins to waver, reread God’s promises to Jeremiah. Let the Holy Spirit comfort you so that you can walk on in confidence. God is walking right next to you. He is faithful. He will bring about his purposes in you!

“Father, help me to see that you are always with me. I believe that you have not abandoned me. I trust in your unfailing love.”

Do you know if you're going to reach heaven?

Many say that while they hope so, they're not sure. They're afraid they will ruin their salvation between now and the day they die. (I used to think that I had to keep doing good out of fear of going to hell, but I know better now) Jesus says in Matt 13:36-43, "The righteous will shine like the sun in their Father's kingdom." This is a promise we can count on.
God isn't going to remove all the weeds from the earth just yet, but he certainly wants to remove their influence on us. This is why He has given us his own Holy Spirit. We must seek to do good, and seek God with a pure heart. I believe that God sends us angels to help us sort right from wrong, truth from deception, good seed from bad seed. We may not recognize their presence but they are capable of protecting us from the infections of evildoers as long as we remain humbly correctable.

This was also the realization over the weekend,the Gospel text of Luke 11:1-13; I have always walked away with this message "And I tell you, ask and you will receive; seek and you will find;knock and the door will be opened to you." but I just realized a important message at the very end of the passage;
"If you then, who are wicked,
know how to give good gifts to your children,
how much more will the Father in heaven
give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him?"

results of my review

No matter how hopeless or weak we may be Jesus is ever ready to bring His healing love, hope, and encouragement to us and to all peoples. Pray for the grace to increase your trust in God’s Compassionate Justice.

I went for my Bi-monthly blood test, together with a CT scan of the lungs and liver and a MRI of my brain yesterday morning. The doctor's review wasn't scheduled till Tuesday but since the results was ready and the doctor's schedule wasn't pack I managed to see him in the late morning.

He listened to the lungs and it was clear.
The CT scan results compared against the scan done more than 6 months ago was very positive. There were clear visible signs of reductions. He estimates it to be about 70%.
The MRI of the brain, showed that the original 2 spots had reduced and there were no signs of inflammation, but the radiologist hilited some new not well defined spots in the frontal lobe. Not to worry about them since I an not having any headaches or loss of balance. We will continue to watch and monitor.
The blood test results was marginal, the CEA markers had gone up a little, 10.2 from 8.8 two months ago. besides this all results are positive and the Iressa tablets is doing it's work. This 10.2 is a far cry from the 40.9 and 31.3 the chemo and Alimta days.
He shared that studies on Iressa statistically works for about 7 to 10 months and it's effectiveness was be reduced. However he had patients that been on it for more than 2 years. He would like to continue to monitor more closely over the next few months, the cancer markers and probably MRI. Next visit will be on 17 August.
As for the cough; it is much better with the Fluimucil, only small bits of phlegm get lodged in the throat which causes me to cough and clear the throat.

I still believe that God will show me the way and that I will trust in Him. Don't want to tell God what to do or prescribe to Him what I expect. Jo asked me a tough question couple of times this week; 'How do you Feel?' My answer has been neutral, I am not sad or disappointed, I don't feel any particular reaction. Should I bee feeling happy or joyous? maybe I should. But I do know that My Father in heaven loves me and I keep my faith in Him. However I should work on it harder like the prompting I have shared lately in this blog from Matthew's gospel. I ask that you keep Jo, Gerard, Brian, Nicole and myself in your prayers and that we will be steadfast, strongly trust and rejoice in Him Promise.

like to share this reflection that I received;
Do you need proof that God is helping you?

"Jesus, we want to see a sign from you."
The scribes and Pharisees in today's Gospel reading(Matt 12:38-42) wanted proof that God's power was at work in their world. We want it, too. We ask God to do something and then start looking for evidence that our prayers are being answered. When we intercede for others, we hope that soon we'll hear good news from them. Our prayer requests are usually accompanied by a desire for proof that God has heard us and cares and is doing something to make life better.
But Jesus said, "An evil and unfaithful age is eager for a sign!" He's not implying that it's a sin to want signs. Often, God does give us signs; it's one of the ways he communicates his will to us. The sin occurs when we distrust him, eager for a sign that would give proof that he loves us and cares – instead of trusting in his goodness and compassion.
How many times do we entrust a person or situation over to God and then nothing happens? The problem often seems to get worse, right? Remember this: God never ignores us nor abandons us. The answer to prayer is usually a process. While we wait, God invites us to trust him more. He wants us to choose to remember that he does truly care and that he is turning everything into an ultimate good in which we – and others – will benefit.
The only proof we need of God's love is that Jesus died for us. The only proof we need that God has the power and the desire to redeem even the worst situations of our lives is the resurrection of Jesus. This is what Jesus meant when he referred to the sign of Jonah.
When you ask God for help and then don't see evidence that anything has changed for the better, does your asking become more intense? Do you start begging and pleading? Yeah, I often feel that way, too. And when God still doesn't provide proof, we get frustrated, and then we get angry.
However, we're not really angry at God. What we're angry at is our limited idea of who God is. The "God" we're mad at is a false god, an incomplete god, a distorted image of the true God.
We need to learn more about who God really is. We need to look at the crucifix and recall what he did for us. If Jesus was willing to suffer so painfully and die for us, will he not do everything else that we need from him? If the Father loves us so much that he resurrected Jesus from death so that we could go with him to heaven, will he not also give us every blessing that we need here on earth?
Think of how you feel when you're pleading with God. This is how God feels, too! Look at today's first reading. Here, God is the one who's doing the begging. What is he yearning to receive from us? Only that we do what is right and to love goodness, and to walk humbly with him. Will you answer HIS prayer today?
© 2010 by Terry A. Modica

How firm is your faith

"Unless your faith is firm, YOU shall not be firm!" That's the message of today's first(Isaiah 7:1-9)reading. How can our faith remain steady when we allow circumstances in our lives to take our eyes off of Jesus? Unless we focus on in him, we're weak and vulnerable and easily shaken by the struggles we face.

Trust is a choice. Fear tells us to distrust God and trust our own assumptions, which are based on limited evidence. Fear is a feeling, but trust is a decision. God eagerly helps us to make that decision. If we keep our eyes on Jesus, he gives us divine evidence that contradicts any discouraging evidence, although often it comes in ways that are, at first, easy to overlook.

more from Matthew

as i read more, the king noticed a man was not wearing a wedding garment in the parable of the Wedding feast. This message again reaffirms the input I posted yesterday.
'A wedding garment: the repentance, change of heart and mind, that is the condition for entrance into the kingdom must be continued in a life of good deeds'

Matt 22:1-14
Jesus again in reply spoke to them in parables, saying, "The kingdom of heaven may be likened to a king who gave a wedding feast for his son. He dispatched his servants to summon the invited guests to the feast, but they refused to come. A second time he sent other servants, saying, 'Tell those invited: "Behold, I have prepared my banquet, my calves and fattened cattle are killed, and everything is ready; come to the feast."' Some ignored the invitation and went away, one to his farm, another to his business. The rest laid hold of his servants, mistreated them, and killed them. The king was enraged and sent his troops, destroyed those murderers, and burned their city. Then he said to his servants, 'The feast is ready, but those who were invited were not worthy to come. Go out, therefore, into the main roads and invite to the feast whomever you find.' The servants went out into the streets and gathered all they found, bad and good alike, and the hall was filled with guests. But when the king came in to meet the guests he saw a man there not dressed in a wedding garment. He said to him, 'My friend, how is it that you came in here without a wedding garment?' But he was reduced to silence. Then the king said to his attendants, 'Bind his hands and feet, and cast him into the darkness outside, where there will be wailing and grinding of teeth.' Many are invited, but few are chosen."
Footnote: A wedding garment: the repentance, change of heart and mind, that is the condition for entrance into the kingdom (⇒ Matthew 3:2; ⇒ 4:17) must be continued in a life of good deeds (⇒ Matthew 7:21-23)

Thank You Father, grant me the grace to be a disciple and enjoy the banquet in your presence.

reflection from Gospel of Matthew

Last Weekend Jo attended a prayer retreat, at the Sunday mass homily at the close of the retreat, Fr. William Goh spoke about the importance of prayer and the need to nourish the gift that God has given us. Jo asked that we restart praying together as a family. I decided to spend lunch time this week reading the Gospel from Matthew instead of doing something else; over these few days couple of phrases caught hold of my attention and seem to be linking together, with a consistent message.

Matt 9:17 'Nor do people put new wine into old wineskin; otherwise, the skins burst, the wine runs out and the skins are lost. No;put new wine in fresh skins and both are preserved.'
Matt 13:5 ' Others fell on patches of rock where they found little soil and sprang up at once, because there was no depth of earth; but as soon as the sun came up they were scorched and, not having any roots, they withered away.'
Matt 17:20 'He answered, "Because you have so little faith. In truth I tell you; if your faith is the size of a mustard seed you will say to this mountain,"Move from here to there" and it will move; nothing will be impossible for you."'

My thoughts so far; I have become aware of the Gifts that God has given us through the pilgrimage, sharing, retreat, faith community and trial. Having been made aware of these gifts I cannot continue to think, live etc the way I had in the past or the new wine in the old wineskin will be lost. Need a new wineskin to preserve this new wine. Cannot continue living and doing things the way I had in the past or this gift from God will diminish and be lost unless I change to grow and strengthen this gift in a new disposition. Similar the message about the sower dropping seed on patches of rock, again speak to me the same: that initial energy on finding the gift again, do a lot initially but then because lack roots dry-up when the sun comes out. Besides having a new disposition and roots, need to keep trust and hope with the faith that the Father has given me. Over this year I have become lazy and it is time now to renew my prayer life and continue to grow & appreciate the gift I have.

Praise the Lord for his patience, persistence and sending reminders.

today's gospel - the paralytic and the faith of his friends

The Gospel that tells of the paralytic being helped by the strength and faith of his friends to overcome obstacles to bring him to Jesus always will be special to me. This was the Sunday reading for 22 Feb 2009; I clearly recall the fellowship and Divine Mercy Novena at Michael Chua's house on the 21 Feb. I also recall the support and strength of friends, pilgrims, faith community, family throughout this period of time. Thank You and God Bless. I like to share this reflection I read with you;
(Source: Good News Ministry)
Look at the obstacles faced by the paralytic in today's Gospel reading (Matt 9:1-8). A more detailed description of this event is given in Luke 5:17-26. The crippled man needed a healing, but his first obstacle was his disease. He could not get to Jesus by himself. So, he accepted the help of his friends. He accepted their rather bizarre method of solving the problem. Was he worried about what others would think if he let his friends chop up a roof that didn't belong to them? No, all that mattered was getting to Jesus, regardless of any obstacles.
How often do we remain in misery because we don't feel comfortable accepting help from others? Or because we don't like their methods? How readily do we give up because the task seems impossible or the dream unrealistic? How stuck are we behind regulations and policies that in general are good but now they're hurting an individual?
If the task or the dream is a calling from God, no obstacle is insurmountable. It merely requires innovation and determination! The paralytic's friends thought "outside the box" of what's familiar and comfortable and acceptable. In doing this, they faced the most intimidating obstacle of all. It's the same obstacle that Amos faced. Jesus faced it, too, when he forgave the man of his sins in front of the critical eyes of the scribes. "What will people think of me? Will they disapprove?"
The paralytic's friends were about to damage someone else's property. Would they be stopped by people who were more concerned about the value of the house than the value of the man?
The real question is: What did God want them to do? When you face the disapproval of others, how does Jesus feel about you? Does he approve of what you're doing? That's all that really matters!

We cannot face obstacles alone, at least not well. We all need a support group of Holy Spirit-filled friends who will help us identify what's paralyzing us and will carry us forward when we're too weak to move on our own. We need friends who will help us discern God's will and find innovative ways around obstacles. We need prayer partners who are not afraid of the consequences of obedience. Do you belong to a community like this? If not, get over the obstacles that are keeping you from it.