18 August update - add-on to 16 Aug

Met up with Dr Kong on Tuesday morning. Had the blood test and X-ray done earlier. The blood test result still show that the markers creeping up. The CEA is now 13.2 from 10.2 last month, CA125 from 11.3 to 13.4. The X-ray did not show anything new since the marker increase was low. He however wants to watch closely and look out for signs that may indicate activity of the cancer cell and that Iressa may not be working well anymore. He scheduled me for a bone scan to be done this Friday, to validate if there were any cancer cells in the bones.

I have another blood test scheduled for 13 Sept. Should the CEA markers continue to rise, he wants to do a PET scan again to see activity area and start on Tarceva (a different oral medication) and maybe radiology for the head. Radiology of the head can only be done once, and it carries a risk of possible some memory loss. Therefore he would delay this options unless needed. These are next stage options after Iressa. My desire is for the Cancer markers to stablize, come down and go away. It is such a toll on Jo.

I will keep you posted and ask for your prayers to continue to Trust God and hold on to my Faith. Pray for Jo too, she is under much pressure and stress too taking care of the family and trying to cope with what's happening.

I want to share something that happened during mass yesterday. It was the Feast of the Assumption of Mary. During homily, the picture of being immersed in River Jordon was very vivid. Being held under the water, eyes open and observing the greenish water, small fished, looking beyond the water level the trees and the bright sun. It was blissful but I felt 'dead' and after taking in these scenes I was pushed up, out of the river to the light. It felt like I was coming back to life, was born again and given a new life. I was very grateful for this baptism experience of dying and coming back fully alive. This was the point during the pilgrimage, 3 years ago, that I felt was given a new life. I was really happy! However during consecration I was filled with an immense heart-ache. An uncontrollable sadness filled me and tears filled my eyes. As Fr Andrew raise the body and blood, I wanted to focus on Jesus but my eyes made a quick look at the congregation. A quick glance made me feel how sad Jesus must feel, many turned to their family/children next to them, others chatting etc at this very special moment of the Eucharistic celebration. I felt that no-one was paying attention. How ungrateful we all are, coming to church on Sunday for mass, calling ourselves Catholics and oblivious to this very special moment. I really felt very heavy hearted and tears in my eyes.

I thank God for calling me to the pilgrimage three years ago and giving me the very special moment then and now. I also want to thank my fellow pilgrims that have become close family and continue to pick me up along my journey. No word can express my thankfulness to Fr Terence, I borrowed the expression from Karen Ko, 'who continues to till the soil and prunes the thorns month after month so that I can continue to response as a disciple.