Be Thankful - 26 May

Jo and I both had a BE THANKFUL call yesterday. We had set such high personal expectation that God will remove all cancer cell with the chemo sessions I had gone through. There was a tinge of 'disappointment' that after 4 cycles there was only 25% reduction.

We received an email from our love circle member about a Chris Long who gave testimony of his struggle with lung cancer. His miracle was that God had removed the pain and suffering he went through but his cancer cell remained the same, did not increase but did not reduce.

What a wake-up call for us; to be thankful for what we have received and Thank God for what He has given and the grace he has sent our way by the people and prayers.

For those who can make it please join us for the Pentecost Triduum at Holy Spirit Church on 27, 28 and 29 May at 7.30pm. The 3 celebrant and speakers for each night will be Fr Terence, Fr John Paul and Fr Bosco respectively. See You .

Ascension of the Lord

These signs will accompany those who believe:in my name they will drive out demons,they will speak new languages.They will pick up serpents with their hands,and if they drink any deadly thing, it will not harm them.They will lay hands on the sick, and they will recover." (Mark 16:17)

How much do we believe in the Holy Spirit in us?

from Sprint to Marathon - 15 May

Sprint to Marathon?
in the words of my doctor, we have moved from a sprint to a marathon now.

The chemotherapy of Cisplatin/Gemzar are given twice in 3 weeks, its effectiveness is targetted at aggressive concer cells that are moving and multiplying. After 2 cycles and the CT scan show about 10-20% reduction, another 2 cycles later an additional 5%, nett 25% of the original cell seen on 18 Feb has been reduced.
The conclusion, we have addressed the aggressive cell, similar to the infantry foot-soldiers moving about out in the field, we have done aerial bombarment and placed mines everywhere(chemo of Cisplatin/Gemzar) which will eliminate them.

The remaining cells are term less aggressive, similar to infantry soldiers in bunker, arial bombardment and mine fields will do less damage, since they are under cover. We now switch to a new medication of Alimta, this is designed to seek out the ones that are under cover, but it will also kill any aggressive cells too. The regime is one dose in 3 weeks, but since the cancer cells are less aggressive it does not spread quickly and are in hiding. It is now a marathon race, where fast sprint is not an option but a quick and steady pace to the end. I am hopeful that this marathon will bring recovery, and I have full confidence in my doctor (HL Kong).

Jo and I had hoped for a fast elimination of the cancer cells with chemo, was probably not inline with what God had planned. Time to move on and start on this marathon journey and continue to look for God's plan for us. Reconciliation was the message I was sharing when I started this journey, it was 'lost' over the past weeks, but it came back, jolted into my memory again during a homily this week and I need to start holding up this banner again.

Shalom and looking forward to Pentecost

Update 14 May

After 13 weeks, I had the second CT scan done yesterday, review with Dr. Kong was that the cancer tumors are STABLE. They have reduced from the first set of PET scan done on 18 Feb, best case 25% reducution. After 4 chemo cycle of aggressive cancer cell medication and Erbitux, we have concluded that we will not get more mileage from the Cisplatin+Gemzar and Erbitux. Option was to switch to less aggressive cancer medication by Oral or a second line chemo of Alimta. The oral medication will require daily tablet to be taken, with likely skin irritations. Alimta on the other hand is given as a 10 minute drip once in every 3 weeks (compared to the past 6 hours weekly), does not have the skin irritations like the oral nor hair loss(something I will touch on later). Yes, there is no 'limit' to the number of times you can get the Alimta dose, currently the moving record is 29 and counting with a current patient.

In the cancer world, Stable is a good thing. It tells you it is not getting worse!!
These words did not strike me till I had an SMS from my good old pal Tai Tee, who never fails to check with me after every session, he asked if stable is good? I replied yes stable is good. The cancer still limited to the lungs and did not spread to any other organs in the chest and abdomen, liver, stomach etc are clear.

We all agreed to start with Alimta, my first session was done this afternoon. It was a breeze, smaller needle and only 30 minutes in total (preparation and flushing of the tubes including waiting for the vein to clot where the IV was inserted). Will monitor for 2 cycles before we make any changes.

Glad that it is over with the weekly Erbitux doses, had a total of 6 weekly doses. The last 2 weeks, the Erbitus had acted up again. Instead of a fat red nose, the pimple outburst were in my head, it caused lots of irritation on the scalp and also fair amount of hair loss as the outbreaks were happening where the hair roots were. There are a few 'bare' spots, which I carefully brush the remaining hair over. Now I appreciate what the balding man that combs his hair from the back to the front feels. This is payback time for the times I commented on Bro. Philabert's crown and how he combed his hair when I was in Junior College. I look forward to my 'glorious' locks growing back.

The other good news is that I am included in the Conversion Experience Retreat for June 4 to 7. Had a call on Monday and a written confirmation today. Looking forward to the retreat at CSC. Mike Chua has been telling me how great an experience it was for him and promoted it everyone he knew. Must have been the grace of God that I managed to squeeze in this June session.

For everyone praying for me Thank You and God's Peace be with you. I can't wish you anything better. It was a bumpy ride the last 1 week, but I am glad that it is past and I start to feel more positive again.

Thank You Connie Shan and her family for the delicious beef rendang, shepherd pie and cheese pasta over the past 3 weeks.

I thank also my wife, Jo, for being there, trying her best to figure what to do with me and anticipating what I look forward to eating. I like her to look forward to better days....

Any red meat lovers out there; take it from me, after 13 weeks of two red meat meals a day, a steak is a steak, The meat will all taste the same however you season & cook it, whichever cut(sirloin, ribeye, tenderloin...) or type of cow (US black Angus, Australia Black Angus, Grass fed, Organic ...) you are eating.

Thank You and will post more updates...

God as our Center

I would have expected that these weeks I will have spent more quiet time, however with the new routine I have actually spent less. I used to send Nicole to school and spend some time in the adoration room at Risen Christ, but since I started my treatment, my good neighour has been sending my daughter to school in the morning. I wake up a little later, and eat breakfast and go off to work. The traffic is heavier and so I have excused myself for not taking the detour to church or spend some quiet time with my Father. I will change this, I want to and I miss the quiet time. John 14:2-3 In my Father's house, he has prepared a room for me and Jesus has said that He will come and take me with Him. How can I not spend time with my Father and say I am a son. How can I be ready if I do not focus on making God my center.

I attached a reflection from Shalom today ;
If our lives are compared to a wheel our activities would be at the periphery and our centres would be at the axle. They would be connected by spokes, our activities and prayer forms. But, if our axle was not still, centred, properly placed the wheel could not move properly. So too, if our lives do not have a mystical centre there will not be a healthy relationship with our active lives. There will be alienation.
In our prayers today let us: ‘Look back and thank God, Look forward and trust God, Look around and serve God, Look within and find God!’

Happy Mother's Day 10th May 2009.

7 May 2009

: I know the ones I have chosen

• We have Jesus’ assurance that if we “welcome Him into our lives” more fully, we will be His messengers of His Resurrection of True Hope to all peoples including ourselves, especially in difficult times .
  
• Is there a greater assurance and surer hope in life than to have the Risen Christ within us? Ponder on this truth and try to sense how God’s Spirit is challenging you in your present life.

Jeremiah expressed it well when he spoke God’s word to Israel, and so to each one of us: “I have loved you with an everlasting love, and so I am always constant in my affection for you” (Jeremiah 31:3). Fr. Terence brought up during the pilgrimage and several times in the community sharing and I will always treasure.

How are you today 6 May 09

Hello everyone, wish that everyone had a restful Labour Day last weekend. It was a slow weekend and thankfully so. Just wanted to let everyone know I am Ok and will be going for my Erbitux tomorrow. Can't wait for next week to review the results of the scan on how things have progressed over the last 12 weeks. Thank each of you for your support and prayers throughout this time. Over the last week, my digestion has slowed down, it takes longer to digest my meals and many days I get the 'indigestion' feeling in my tummy after meals. I pray this goes away.

Thank you Father for my son Gerard, he sent me this encouragement and a love you note on Monday night when I was feeling rather tired and 'indigested'.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SIAdgLR1ZGw&feature=related

Thank God for the wonderful downpour this morning. it freshen the day, though it must have made sending the kids to school a problem. I want to leave you with a reflection from yesterday " Lord, you know that there are still area where I struggle. So I ask you to give me the grace to press on in knowing you and surrendering myself to you. Lord, I believe, help my unbelief."

Update on Chemo on 30 April

Thank you for all your prayers.. blood tests before Chemo on 30 April were good. Pete went ahead with the session and it ended earlier, at about 2.50pm instead of the usual 5 hours. He is doing well and appetite is good. In fact, he was quite delighted that he had put on a little weight.

We are taking it slow and easy this long weekend and we hope you will take time to 'savour' the Love of Our Lord.

Please pray for Eileen's mother who had been admitted to hospital because of chest pains.