will see the doctor tomorrow afternoon

went for my blood test today. called the clinic this afternoon what the readings were. The CEA marker this time was 8.8 compare to 8.5 March readings. will see Dr Kong and look at the X-ray tomorrow afternoon. Was hoping for it to drop further but quite relieve that it did not go up significantly. There was a mixed feeling but I have to remind myself that stable is Good. This reading is way better than what it was last year. The CA125 also went up but it is still within the normal range. I have to be thankful for the blessings and the healing.

Awhile ago this reflection came in the email; first read it as a loss of joy and only now did I actually read it "The joy of loss"

Jesus says to his disciples, "Because I told you I'm going back to him who sent me, grief has filled your hearts."
We're afraid of loss. It's very unpleasant, and yet, it's the only way to move forward in our relationship with God. It's a dark hallway that leads us from the past to the future, from one stage of spiritual growth to a higher level, from discipleship as a student of Jesus to apostleship as a messenger empowered by the Holy Spirit.
Loss hurts because it's painful to be separated from what used to be. We'd rather cling to what's familiar. We cling to the past so that we don't have to move forward into unknown territory. We cling to our own ideas of what our lives should be like so that we won't risk disaster in the unknowable outcomes of life's challenges.
God should be in control. Our decisions will either hold us back or move us forward. Both directions will impact our lives and the lives of uncountable others.

Remember that God wants what's best for us.
when we refuse to travel from the old to the new, we not only prevent ourselves from discovering more of God's awesome love, we also get in the way of God's love for others.
The Holy Spirit gives us help and comfort when we pass through our losses, but only if we accept the help instead of cursing the changes.
Holy Spirit give me a submissive heart to be open to feel, hear and see God.

Will update tomorrow after the review